


In Family

by pedromiamor



Series: Married Mustache Cowboys [2]
Category: Narcos (TV)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Crying, Emotional, Farmboys, Hair-pulling, Idiots in Love, M/M, Name-Calling, Nudes, Outdoor Sex, Poems, Rimming, Semi-Public Sex, Slight Spanking, Spit As Lube, Spit Kink, Steve Murphy Fucks, Whiny Bitch Javi, mention of nightmares, polaroids, secret married couple
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-17
Updated: 2021-03-23
Packaged: 2021-03-25 20:21:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 27,359
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30094590
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pedromiamor/pseuds/pedromiamor
Summary: Javier and Steve adapt to their new life as secretly married men and keepers of the farm while Chucho continues his soap opera endeavors.A call from Connie disrupts their newfound normal.
Relationships: Steve Murphy/Javier Peña
Series: Married Mustache Cowboys [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2210472
Comments: 35
Kudos: 35





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [KesSkirata](https://archiveofourown.org/users/KesSkirata/gifts).



> HELLO I AM BACK!!
> 
> I know I said this was over but the lovely KesSkirata gave me an idea that made me realize I wasn't ready to say goodbye to our cowboys yet. I have decided to expand my work "In Passing" into a series with several different chaptered mini stories that follow their lives after the ending of the first one and explores their development as family. Hope you like:)

The soft glint of Steve’s ring in the moonlight doesn’t shock him as much as it does Javier. He grew used to the feel of it by the next day he’d had it on. It wasn’t strange to him to be wearing a ring like it was to Javier. He’d worn a different one for years before this. 

He wiggles his fingers laying over Javier’s bare stomach. Soft moonlight filters eerily through the curtains Steve had finally convinced Javier to hang up, and ghosts over the sleeping body. Steve’s laying on his side firmly pressed up against his lover with a head laid on his chest and his fingertips dancing circles across his abdomen. Javier breathes out small puffs of air as he sleeps soundly with an arm thrown around Steve’s shoulders. Their bodies are warm and still sated from an earlier pleasured evening, but Steve can’t find it in him to fall asleep. 

He looks back to his ring and can feel the cool metal of Javier’s pressing lightly into his shoulder. They’d secretly married in the confines of their own kitchen with Chucho stood between them with his cowboy hat on. They said a few words and received a blessing. That was it. No more and no less. They didn’t need a huge celebration to honor their love. They already had each other. 

It was nearing the end of November now. Steve had been sleeping in Javier’s bed and washing their dishes for almost a year. They’d been married for nine of those months. Nine months of shared kisses and words of love banded together by the metal on their fingers. 

A slight change in Javier’s quiet breathing takes Steve’s attention away from his hand. He knows what that sound symbolizes. A small whimper escapes Javier’s lips and the fingers curled around Steve’s shoulder twitch. Steve runs a hand over Javier’s chest as he moves to slightly sit up. His face is pulled into something unpleasant, and his eyebrows scrunch together. Steve watches his bottom lip tremble slightly as another noise sounds in the back of his throat. Javier hasn’t had a nightmare in a while. 

“Hey,” he whispers softly. His hand moves to the side of Javier’s face, and he leans down to kiss the tip of his nose. “You’re okay cariño. Es sólo una pesadilla. (It’s only a nightmare)” He smooths Javier’s hair back, petting the side of his face, and kisses the furrows out of his scrunched brows. He watches his nose crinkle and wipes a stray eyelash from his cheek. He feels the slight shake of Javier’s body beneath him. He takes his head softly in his hands and nuzzles his nose along his jaw. “Estoy aquí Javi. Todo está bien. (I’m right here Javi. Everything is okay)” 

Steve listens to the long sigh Javier releases and keeps his lips gently on his face until his breathing returns to normal. He brushes his hands through his hair again before resuming his position against Javier’s side with his head on his chest. He hugs him tighter, pressing his lips to his collarbone, and eventually feels his eyes drift into sleep. 

A warm hand rubs persistently at his back with gentle circles. A soft voice speaks to him quiet and low, but he cannot understand the words. He smells coffee and tangerines as the bed shifts beside him. He wants to open his eyes and see the soft smile Javier sports every morning when he wakes him, but the lull of sleep threatens to pull him under again. He fights his morning exhaustion, letting his fingers twitch forward, and finds a warm hand waiting for him above the sheets. He squeezes it as the touch of Javier’s nose nudges his cheek and his lips find the corner of Steve’s mouth. “Don’t make me open the curtains.”

Steve makes a noise of protest and regretfully opens one of his eyes. He peers at Javier through a layer of sleep, mustering all the annoyance he can, and flips himself over on the bed with a groan. He pulls the sheets further up his body with his back now toward Javier and squeezes his eyes shut. The hand on his back returns in wider strokes as the sheets are slowly peeled from his clutching hands. Javier runs his hand through Steve’s hair and kisses just behind his ear. He hooks an arm around Steve’s front, turning him back over, and pulls his body against him. 

“Oh pobrecito (You poor thing),” he says softly. He wipes a thumb just under Steve’s eyes and frowns at him. “Did you sleep last night? You usually aren’t this tired in the morning.”

Steve nods and covers the hand on his face with his own. “I slept. I just don’t like getting out of bed in the morning.” He watches that soft smile spread across Javier’s face, making his chest swell, and accepts the offered kiss on his lips.

“I’ve noticed. You made me get curtains and now I have to wake you every morning. Breakfast is done, and Papá is already halfway through his plate. You should probably get dressed before he eats the whole spread because he will.” Steve groans loudly and attempts to pull Javier back down onto the bed with him. He holds him steady though with just a raise of his brow. “You heard me. We have work to do today, and if you make me do all of it there’ll be no dessert tonight.”

“Don’t take away dessert,” he whines grabbing at Javier’s hip as his stands from the bed. “Un beso. (A kiss)”

Javier shakes his head with a little smug look. “No, you’re being stubborn. I’ll be in the barn when you get your lazy ass up.”

Steve internally scolds himself for not ever listening to Javier about getting up in the morning when he sees that there’s barely even a plate of breakfast left for him. Chucho chuckles quietly to himself when he sees Steve’s disappointment, reminding him to wash the dishes when he’s done, and hobbles into the living room to no doubt watch more soap operas. Chucho had barely done any real farm work outside since Steve had arrived, and Javier had told him he was actually kind of grateful for that, saying his old man bones would probably break if he even tried to bend over. Steve didn’t mind the work or washing the dishes. This was his life now, one he never knew he wanted, and he’d live through all of it so long as Javier wanted him to.

Steve finds the whole thing silly as walks alone to the barn and spots the old rusty truck further along the way. It’s almost December, but he still feels the heat of Texas warming his skin and feels beads of sweat slowly rolling down his back. It should be cold – it’s supposed to be cold – but the frozen air is no where to be found. Colombia was the same way in that of nothing short of blistering heat touched his skin and the nip of frosty wind was absent. He finds he doesn’t miss that absence of feeling your bones freeze on your way to the car or the hassle of walking through layers of snow. Steve hadn’t been cold in a long time, not since before Colombia, and he wanted it to stay that way.

Javier has his black cowboy hat on again as Steve walks through the barn doors. He’s taken to stealing almost all the shirts Steve had in his wardrobe and claiming them as his own. He was angry about it at first, never having any of his shirts to wear or them being dirty, but he found he didn’t mind wearing Javier’s clothes either. He doesn’t remember when their separate wardrobes became a big singular closet of wear whatever you want but it had some time ago, and neither of them seemed to care. 

Javier is bent over tossing loose hay around and coughing when the dirt swirls up into his face. He’s rummaging through a wooden crate that looks as if it’s about ready to fall apart and swatting flies away from his face. Steve doesn’t know what he’s doing, is barely even watching his hands work, his eyes instead focusing on the ass he’s put on display. Many features of Javier’s body are things that Steve worships thoroughly (whether that be in his mind or physically when Javier allows him) but his ass is one thing that Steve appreciates wholeheartedly. He’s had his face and many other things stuck between Javier’s legs or buried in his ass more times than he can count or even remember, so excuse him if he gets a little distracted. 

Javier grunts and shakes his head before finally looking up and seeing Steve watching him. “Can you help me find the clippers? I know I put them in here last week and now I can’t find them.” Steve nods minutely with a little quirk of his lips as Javier continues to rummage through the stranded hay and other tools in the crate. He stops his movements when a pair of hands firmly grip his hips and roughly pull him back against the warm body behind him. “Steve,” he warns. The fingers clutching at his hips dig into his skin and massage him slowly, one hand running down to grab a handful of Javier’s ass then up his back. He cants his hips slightly forward, listening to the small groan that slips between Javier’s lips, and feels a small bubble of heat erupt through his abdomen. Javier reaches a hand behind him to grab firmly onto Steve’s wrist. “Quit that,” he says sternly, but there’s a slight whine in his voice. 

Steve runs his hand further up Javier’s back and threads his fingers through the base of his dark hair, knocking the hat off his head, and pulls him up so his back is flush against his chest. He presses a kiss just behind Javier’s ear, snakes a hand around to tug on the clasp of his belt, and untucks the front of his shirt from his jeans. “You want to,” he says quietly, “your eyebrows are pulled together. You do that when you want me to touch you.”

Javier meekly attempts at pawing Steve’s hands away from his front, turning his head to meet his eyes. “I don’t want to until after the work is done. My legs will be sore, and I need to get this shit done.”

Steve leans forward to kiss the side of his mouth and rubs a hand over his now exposed stomach. “Who said anything about sore legs? You want me to fuck you?”

Javier whimpers as his eyes flutter shut, and he wrenches himself out of Steve’s arms. “Later. I can’t work on sore legs with your cum dripping down them. You hear?”

Steve huffs at him, watching him fix his clothes and dust the dirt off his hat. “I hear.”

“What did I say?”

“No touching until after the work is done. Then I get to fuck you.” Javier smiles at him as he sets his hat back atop his head. He takes Steve’s chin between his thumb and forefinger, kissing him lightly and biting at his bottom lip. “Otra vez (Again),” he whispers when Javier pulls away.

Javier kisses him again. Longer and more pressing with a hand squeezing at his side. “Eres tan necesitado. Te amo (You are so needy. I love you),” he says against his lips. “Find the clippers. I need to mix a new bin of chicken feed. They’re all out in the coop’s storage. Make sure the vacas have what they need outside. I’ll fill up their troughs in here.”

Their everyday work was nothing too exciting or even hard once you knew what you were doing. They’d feed all the animals in their separate areas and make sure their troughs of water were at max capacity each morning. Then they’d go along the perimeter of the cow fence and the property fence to make sure nothing needed fixed before doing the same with the chicken coop. Then they’d clean whatever needed it in the coop or barn and make sure all the tools were in the right spots. Then they’d venture down to the vegetable garden on the other side of the property to water all the plants, clear out weeds, and pick whatever was ready for either selling or eating. Occasionally they’d have to move hay bales from the road down to the storage barn and meet with the local vet when the cows needed a health check. It was routine and always the same, but Steve would never call it boring. Not when Javier did all the same things right beside him and kissed him after every chore was complete.

“Fuck,” Javier says inside the truck. They were almost done for the day and driving back to the barn to put the supplies in the back of the truck away.

“What’s the matter?”

Javier sighs as he turns the truck back around and heads for the chicken coop. “I was supposed to fill a few holes in the boards of the hen house. Mice keep getting in to where they shouldn’t and draining the grain bags. Part of the wires coming up on the coop door as well, and I keep cutting my hand on it. I forgot while we were there.” He climbs out of the truck when they reach the coop and digs around in the bed of the truck for a few things. “You just want to unload there by yourself? I should be almost done by the time you make it back.”

Steve nods at him, scooting over into the driver’s seat, and quickly leans out of the open window to kiss his nose. “I got it don’t worry. I’ll even organize that crate for you so you don’t spend an hour looking for tools that are right in front of your face.”

“I didn’t see it!” he defends with wide eyes. “You don’t have to rub my face in it just because you found them the second I walked away. Now go away. I don’t want to listen to your mockery anymore.”

Steve raises a brow at him with a teasing smile. “Well, I don’t want to listen to your whining either so it’s a fair game.” Javier shoots him a glare before turning to the coop and effectively ignoring his shout of “I love you!”

Steve makes quick work putting all the equipment they used in their correct spots and sweeping the stray hay back to the corner of bales. He takes to just dumping the entire crate of tools onto the dirt ground and arranging them in a somewhat organized fashion. He even finds different places to put some of the things because he has no idea why they were in there in the first place. He thinks it has something to do with both Javier and Chucho being the most disorganized men on the planet. 

He hops back into the truck once he’s finished at the bar and drives bumpily back to the coop. He waits inside the truck with the air on full blast expecting Javier to come out at any time with a grumpy look on his face. He hates fixing the chicken coop because the damn thing just needs to be redone altogether. The sun is in his face, making him squint his eyes and grumble in annoyance, so he pulls the visor above him down to block the light. He smiles when he sees two polaroid pictures tucked into the ripped fabric of the visor and removes them from their perch. 

One is the picture he had given Javier at the airport. The one of them at the Christmas party that had the word “pendejo” scribbled underneath. He laughs at the memory of Javier’s hangover the day after the party and how it hurt when he’d handed him the photo. He never thought he’d see him again after that day. The other one is a picture he knows Chucho took. Javier’s asleep on the couch with his head thrown back on the cushions with Steve giving a thumbs up at his side and his other hand in Javier’s. He remembers that moment clearly. Javier had eaten so much food on one of their steak nights that he completely passed out almost immediately after eating. Steve had carried him to bed that night because he wouldn’t wake up. The words “mi amor” were scribbled underneath in Javier’s handwriting. 

Steve smiles again at the pictures and at the memories. If he didn’t love Javier so much already, he’d have said finding out he keeps pictures of him in his truck made him fall for him even more. 

He starts to tuck the pictures back into their place when he spots the white corner of another polaroid that’s been shoved further into the ripped fabric of the visor, like it was supposed to be hidden from anyone who didn’t know it was there. He digs it out carefully with his fingers. The picture side is facing the other way, but he’s too focused on the tiny words written across the back. It’s in Spanish, and Steve can tell it’s supposed to be a poem. It’s in Javier’s handwriting, and he translates the words effortlessly. Living with the Peña’s for almost a year really improves your fluency. It reads:

A piece of you  
in a piece of me.  
I cannot save my eyes  
from the beauty you bestow upon me. 

Steve smiles warmly at the poem feeling his chest swell just like it does every time Javier writes something for him. He reads it over a few times before flipping the picture over and immediately feeling his face flush. The words “mi esposo” read at the bottom of the picture but that’s not why he’s blushing. He suddenly understands why this particular one was hidden while the others were easy to see. It was of Steve sleeping alone in Javier’s bed with the sheets pooled down at his ankles. The soft morning light painted over his bare skin, and he had an arm thrown over his chest while the other was tucked under the pillow next to him. He was completely nude and on full display, not hard or anything sexual, just naked and sleeping soundly. He quickly glances up to make sure Javier hasn’t come out of the coop yet and wonders why the fuck he doesn’t have a picture like that tucked away in his wallet. It’s basically a get hard free card, and Javier’s had one hidden in his truck this whole time. 

He puts all three polaroids back where he found them trying extra hard to hide the nude one in any case Chucho accidentally stumbles upon it. He glances toward the coop again and wonders why it’s taking Javier so long to fix the damn thing when he said he’d be done by now. He mumbles to himself as he turns the ignition off and hops out of the truck. All the chickens are outside in the fenced pen with the door leading inside closed off. Steve notices the wire on the coop door is fixed and hears a frustrated grunt from inside the hen house. “What’s going on in here?” he asks stepping through the door.

Javier looks up briefly with clear annoyance written across his face and lines furrowing his forehead. “Esta mierda es inútil y no puedo conseguir que nada de eso funcione. Carajo! (This fucking shit is useless, and I can’t get any of it to work. Fuck!)” he shouts at the floorboards. 

Steve chuckles softly at him, walking toward his hunched form near the coop’s corner, and places a hand on his shoulder. He kneels down beside him and wipes a bead of sweat rolling down his temple with his thumb before planting a kiss there. “Yelling at inanimate objects is not going to get the job done faster, okay?” He places his hand over the one Javier has clutching at the hammer and slowly takes the tool from him. “Now, tell me what I’m supposed to be doing so we can get in the shower sooner. I’m sweaty.”

Javier sports a small smile as the frustration eases its way off his face. “You’re always sweaty. I just need this siding along the bottom here taken off and one of these base boards. There’s mouse holes all chewed through the wood, so I need to replace them.”

“So just these three boards you need removed?” Javier nods at him. “Only three? And you couldn’t manage that with all that extra time I gave you to work? You better set that cowboy hat on my head then if I’m the only one who can get shit done around here.”

The frown he receives is prominent and makes a feeling of regret swirl in Steve’s stomach. “You didn’t need to say that,” Javier says quietly. He removes the hat from his head, setting it crookedly on Steve, and leaves the hen house without another word. Steve stares at the door Javier just left through for a few long minutes wondering why neither of them can discern between when joking around turns into being an asshole before turning to the boards with the claw side of the hammer ready to go to work. 

He listens to Javier quietly speak to the chickens outside with a small smile on his face. He always talks to all the animals in Spanish and makes noises back at them which Steve finds endearing. The two pieces of siding are already off, and he makes quick work of pulling up the nails on the baseboard until that too is removed. He stacks the boards together and sweeps the nails into a pile beside them with a sigh. “Javi,” he calls. His voice from outside disappears, but Javier doesn’t come back inside the hen house. “I know I upset you cariño. ¿Puedo por favor venir aquí? (Can you please come in here?)” He doesn’t hear the creak of the fence door opening or the steps of Javier’s boots in the grass, and Steve begins to think that maybe he did hurt him more than he thought when the wooden door swings open. 

Javier stands in the doorway with no move to cross the threshold. His arms are folded over his chest and he looks utterly grumpy with the hard frown marring his face. “Your hat isn’t on straight,” he pouts.

Steve gives him a slight smile. “You’re the one who put it on me crooked. Come sit with me.”

“No.”

Steve’s taken aback by the refusal and peers at Javier when his arms fold further across his chest and that intimidating glare flashes through his eyes. “No? Come here.” Javier shakes his head with a look of defiance like a toddler refusing to go to bed. Steve’s fingers twitch as he sets the hammer down with the beginning heat of arousal starting to bubble in his abdomen. “Dije que ven aquí (I said come here),” he says in a firmer voice. 

Javier raises his chin haughtily at Steve and cocks a brow. “Dije que no (I said no).”

Steve doesn’t say anything as he stands from the dusty floor and carefully walks toward Javier until the front of their bodies barely brush together. He mirrors his challenging and intimidating look with one of his own and hooks his fingers under the front of Javier’s belt, pulling him roughly into his body. He reaches over Javier’s shoulder to pull the door closed, making sure to latch it, and brushes the tip of his nose against the shell of Javier’s ear. “You think you’re in charge?” he whispers tantalizingly against his skin. Javier shivers as Steve’s hand slowly smooths up his shirt until it rests at the base of his neck. “Yo soy tu patrón. Sí? (I am your boss. Yes?)” He licks his tongue up the length of Javier’s ear and lightly nibbles on his lobe. When he receives no answer, he moves his hand further up Javier’s neck applying enough pressure to elicit a strangled noise from his throat. “Sí?” he asks again.

Javier grunts as he tries to wrench himself away from Steve’s grip. “You weren’t last night,” he chokes defiantly. Steve can hear the smirk in his voice, so he pushes Javier up against the door and crowds him with his body again. He gives his throat one last squeeze before abruptly yanking the hairs on the back of his head roughly, forcing his head back and a sharp gasp to escape his lips. Steve kisses his Adam’s apple, watching it bob up and down, then bites the tip of his chin with an authoritative look boring into Javier’s aroused eyes. He tightens his grip in Javier’s hair, watching his eyes squeeze shut and a soft moan pass though his parted mouth. Javier nods his head furiously as his hands reach out to clutch at Steve’s hips. “Sí,” he whines, “sí, eres mi patrón (Yes. Yes, you’re my boss).” 

“Mm good,” he says between light kisses he presses to his jaw. He hasn’t loosened the hand tangled in Javier’s hair and reaches the other one between their bodies to cup the growing bulge in Javier’s jeans. He feels Javier’s hips jerk forward at the touch followed by a small whimper and pushes him back into the wall, slotting his thigh roughly between his legs. “You will do as I say,” he says raising his brows. He tugs his hair back again, gentler this time, and hovers his lips just above Javier’s. “Sí?”

“Sí,” he whines again. 

Steve gives him a small pitying look and wipes his thumb across Javier’s cheekbone, rolling his hips slowly forward. “Pobrecito (You poor thing),” he frowns and massages his fingertips into his scalp. “You’re just falling apart aren’t you?” Steve leans forward only slightly to barely brush his lips over Javier’s and breathing in the noise of protest it releases. His hips come forward again feeling the outline of Javier’s hardness against his own and hands running up his sides. Steve traps Javier’s bottom lip between his teeth, nibbling on it gently, and drags his tongue languidly across its length. The warmth and desperation of Javier’s breath ghosts just under his nose in a tiny tickle that has his eyes fluttering shut. Steve kisses him hard, finally, and Javier has to grab onto his shoulders to keep himself from sinking to the floor with how much the touch melts his bones. Their tongues meet almost immediately, trying to get a taste of the other, and their teeth bite almost a little hard at each other’s lips. 

Javier whimpers beneath him with his fingers digging into Steve’s shoulder blades and his hips moving forward as much as they can in search of any delicious friction. He snakes his hand between their bodies in search of Steve’s belt but has his wrist seized in the process. He pins his arm to the door he’s pressed up against and pulls away from Javier’s lips. “Did I tell you to do that?” Javier’s brows are pinched together, his face flushed a light red, his bitten lips parted as soft pants escape his mouth, and a few beads of sweat dripping down his forehead. He shakes his head with pleading eyes. “No,” Steve says shaking his head with him, “I didn’t.” Javier reaches to kiss him again but is met with a sharp tug to his hair and a hard look. “I don’t give kisses when you don’t listen. Will you behave?”

“Yes,” he whispers.

Steve begins massaging his fingertips back into Javier’s hair and brings his other hand up to caress the side of his face. “Are you a good boy Javi?”

Javier leans into Steve’s touch practically purring. “Yes.”

Steve hums a soft agreement, pecking Javier on the nose, and brings his hands to the front of the belt that keeps knocking into his own. He slowly unclasps it with his hooded eyes still trained hungrily on Javier. He looks impatient and needy like Steve’s hands are the only thing holding him together. His fingers keep flexing across Steve’s shoulder blades, and he bites his lip when the button of his jeans comes undone. Steve licks his lips as he slowly draws the zipper down and plants his hands on Javier’s waist when he’s done. He kisses Javier again, sweetly, and moves their hips together in a sinuous grind. “¿Quieres que te joda? (Do you want me to fuck you?)” he asks quietly. He reaches his hand down into Javier’s open jeans, grabbing the base of his warm dick, and jacks him lazily. 

A soft moan sounds itself against Steve’s lips as Javier’s hands clutch at the shirt beneath his touch. “Sí,” he whines, “oh, sí sí, yes. Quiero que me jodes (Yes, I want you to fuck me). Fuck Steve.” 

“Turn around and put your hands on the door. Kick off your shoes too.” Javier does all that he’s told – toeing off his boots which are kicked to the side and placing his palms on the coop’s door with his legs slightly spread – without so much as a single sound of impatience. Steve grabs onto Javier’s hips and pulls him back until they’re touching while smoothing a hand down his back. It’s much like the position they were in earlier at the barn, so Steve thrusts his hips forward with a low groan and hooks his thumbs under the waistband of Javier’s jeans. He lowers them slowly without being too surprised that his partner decided to go commando today and watches as he kicks them away once they’re pooled at his ankles. 

He listens to Javier’s deep breaths as he palms the flesh of his bare ass, gathering as much in his hands as he can, and smirks at the yelp a sharp slap to his right cheek elicits. He smacks his ass again then rubs the red skin delicately as he lowers himself to his knees. A kiss is then placed to his tender skin as his hands pull apart his tanned cheeks. Soft lips ghost over his now exposed hole. “Unbutton your shirt,” he says before licking a wet stripe up the cleft of his ass. Javier makes a noise, reaching one hand down to the buttons of his shirt, and rocks his hips back until Steve’s tongue breaches his rim. 

It’s almost heaven – Steve eating him out with his hands palming at his ass and thighs – and Javier can’t remember when a single finger joins the tongue already deep in his ass or even when the second one is added. He does remember when Steve pulls his mouth away with a wet sound and wipes the saliva dripping from his chin with a small moan. “Fuck Jav. Mi cariño, te amo tan caro (My sweetheart, I love you so dearly).” He rubs his thumb smoothly over his hip as he adds a third finger, curling them all in different directions until Javier gasps when his prostate is hit. 

“Oh, por favor,” he whines into his hand, “Por favor, te necesito mi amor. Por favor ahora (Please, I need you my love. Please now).” 

Steve stands from the floor, removing his fingers, and starts undoing his belt. “Un beso primero (A kiss first),” he says as he drops his pants to just below his thighs. Javier pushes himself off the door to turn around only to be shoved back into it with a thump and Steve’s hands cupping his face. He kisses him hurriedly and grabs the back of his thighs, hoisting him up and pinning him to the wall. Javier wraps his legs just over Steve’s hips and hooks his feet around his thighs. “I don’t have any lube. Is that okay?”

“Christ Steve just fuck me already. He estado esperando todo el día por ti (I have been waiting all day for you). It won’t hurt, I promise.” He kisses Steve for emphasis and clutches onto his shoulders to prevent himself from falling down the side of the door. Steve nods at him and presses their noses together. He takes one hand from the back of Javier’s thigh where he’s holding him up to lead his dick to the right place and slowly pushes all the way in. 

Steve doesn’t give Javier any extra time to adjust or even take a breath before he’s pulling out again and quickly thrusting up. Their breaths mingle hot and needy together with mixes of gasps and sharp moans when Steve hits that precious sweet spot. They only manage to sneak in a few kisses and bite marks between the urgent need to breathe and chasing the cusp of relief. Their muscles ache and twitch with the effort of holding Javier up and the exhaustion of the brutal pace Steve hasn’t quit maintaining. Javier’s taken to just moaning nonsensical Spanish that isn’t put in any coherent order against Steve’s lips while he just nods along and thrusts that tiny bit harder. 

Javier makes a pitying noise in the back of the throat as his eyes plead with Steve. His hair is matted to his forehead. “Por favor querido. Estoy listo (Please. I’m ready),” he whimpers. One of his hands leaves Steve’s shoulders and reaches down to finish himself off but is quickly swatted away.

He whines at Steve with a look of frustration. “No,” Steve grunts, “Hacerlo sin tocarse (Do it without touching).” Javier’s face falls and he drops his head back against the door. “Hey, come on. I know you can do it. Lo haces todo el tiempo (You do it all the time).”

Javier groans, digging his nails into Steve’s back, and tries his hardest to meet him on every thrust. “Bésame entonces (Kiss me then).” 

Steve meets Javier in a sloppy kiss that’s barely any lips moving together and mostly panted breaths mixed with whining moans. Steve feels Javier’s build-up before it even hits him in the way his legs tighten their hold around him and his arms reflexively pull Steve further into his body before his body’s seizing and his mouth opens wide against Steve’s in a loud broken moan. Sticky warmth paints both their chests as Javier’s walls close tightly around Steve and then he’s coming with a long groan bitten into Javier’s lips. Steve feels his legs weaken, allowing his body to fall against Javier’s on the door and his knees to slump toward the ground with his lover still in his arms. They pant against each other in a tired heap on the dirty floor of the chicken coop with nothing short of love gleaming in their eyes. 

Javier bangs his head back against the door. “Fuck Steve. You’re going to kill me one of these days.”

Steve noses at his cheek and runs a hand through his sweaty hair. “Good yeah? I try my hardest.”

Javier smiles at him with a lazy kiss pressed to his forehead. “Yes. I like when we do it your way. Although, I enjoy it more when you spit on me and call me tu putita.”

Steve blushes, shaking his head, and turns away from Javier to look at the boards of the coop they still needed to fix. He remembers what he’d said earlier to upset Javier in the first place and presses a soft kiss to his lips, replacing the cowboy hat on his head purposefully crooked. “I’m sorry about what I said earlier. I was just joking with you. Your hat isn’t on straight,” he says to him. 

“Don’t you start with me,” he laughs. He pinches Steve’s side and pulls him in for another sweet kiss. “I think you’re going to have to finish up though. I’m not sure if I’ll be able to get up. I’m all sore already.”

Steve huffs a breath at him but reaches for the hammer anyway. “As long as you let me wash you then when we get in the shower. I know how much you like it.” Javier gives him a tired smile and reaches a hand out for him to shake. A promise. 

Steve heads down the stairs with freshly combed wet hair and comfy clothes that he can no longer remember who they belong to. Javier had told him to get a head start on helping Chucho prepare dinner with complaints of his ass being sore and not wanting to do anything else today. He’d called him a whiner and then laughed at his grumpy face of a response. 

He finds Chucho standing in the hallway with the phone against his ear. “Oh, he’s right here now,” he speaks gruffly. He offers the phone to a confused Steve and says, “Someone is calling for you.”

“Who is it?”

“¿Cómo la mierda que yo sé? Sólo contesto la maldita cosa (How the fuck would I know? I just answer the damn thing),” he says to Steve as if he’s the stupidest guy he knows then hobbles off toward the kitchen. 

He shakes his head after the old man and brings the receiver up to his ear. “Hello?”

“I’m guessing that was Mr. Peña?”

“Oh, hey Connie. Yeah, that was the old man.” He checks the calendar hanging on the wall beside the phone and a picture of Javier’s mom. He frowns. “I wasn’t expecting your call until next Friday.”

Their arrangement was simple. Connie would call the first Friday of every month to set up a weekend with Steve where he’d fly out to Miami Friday morning and come back Sunday night so he could still see Olivia. It might have been taxing and Steve would like to spend more time with his daughter, but it was the only arrangement that worked on both of their ends. 

“I know, I know. I was just talking with my sister the other day and decided that this isn’t fair to you. You barely get to see Olivia and she misses you. I know it’s hard with how far apart we are, but she came up with something that I think will make you happy at least for a little while.” 

Steve scrubs a hand down his face and catches the sight of Javier making his way down the stairs. “I’m listening.”

“Well, my sister has been saving up for a while now so we could both go on a vacation together, and she’s finally saved up enough that we could go anytime we wanted.”

“Go on.”

“Would you be opposed to keeping Olivia with you for about two weeks? You can have her over Christmas with no arguments if you want. I know it’s short notice, but I thought you’d like to have her over the holiday.”

Steve feels a wave of excitement flood through him and a smile cross his face. “You mean next month? For two weeks with Christmas included?”

“Yes Steve. We’re going to rent a beach house out in Corpus Christi for the time being so if anything happens, we’re only an hour away. Is that okay?”

Javier rounds the corner of the hallway and stops suddenly when he sees Steve on the phone. He furrows his brows with a tiny tilt of his head. “Who are you talking to?” he mouths to him. 

“Yeah. Yeah, but I have to check with Javier and Chucho first. It’s their house. I just want to make sure they’re okay with it,” he says with a smile directed at his partner.

He furrows his brows further. “Is that Connie?” His face lights up at Steve’s nod. “Can I talk to her?” Steve hands him the phone, which he tucks between his ear and shoulder, and reaches out to grab Steve’s hands. “Hey Connie. How are you doing?” He watches him chew on his lip and hum an affirmation as Connie speaks to him over the phone. His smile grows when Javier’s eyes go wide, and he has to grab onto the phone to keep it from slipping out of his hold. “Of course I would love the little tyke to give us a visit! No, absolutely. I’ll show her to all the chickens and let her pet the cows. Don’t you worry about Papá. I’ll make him say yes.”

They both say hurried goodbyes to her before Javier scoops Steve up in a hug and plasters a wet kiss to his temple. “Oh I missed that little girl. I bet she’s not so tiny anymore.”

Steve smooths his hands over Javier’s chest and brushes a stary hair from his face. “Cariño.” 

“Hm?”

“You know you’re her step-dad, right?” Javier looks taken aback for a long while, his mouth opening several times with no noise coming out, and his brows drawing together again. “I’m sorry. We can call it something else, but you are. Technically, and I suppose also secretly.”

Javier shakes his head slowly and rubs a hand over Steve’s shoulder. “No, no I didn’t mean it like that. I just have never thought of that before. I didn’t make the connection. I don’t have a problem with it.” He takes Steve’s face in his hands and looks at him with a level of seriousness Steve hadn’t seen since Colombia. “You have to know that I don’t mind being a father to her in whatever way she’ll see it as. I accept the responsibilities and the title. Understand?”

Steve nods smiling softly at him. “I understand Javi. Thank you.” 

“¿Qué tal un beso, hm? Te amo mucho (How about a kiss? I love you very much).” Javier brings Steve’s face to his and pecks his lips multiple times with a soft lingering one at the very end. He then showers tiny kisses all across Steve’s forehead, his temples, across his eyebrows, over his eyelids, down his nose, and another on his smiling mouth. 

“I love you too Jav.” He plants a hand over Javier’s chest and idly taps his fingertips onto the soft cloth of his t-shirt. “Can I talk to Chucho about it? Alone?”

“Claro. Anything for you.”

Dinner is anything but how it usually is. The table is quiet, and Steve feels like he’s eating at a much slower pace than usual. Javier tries to keep some semblance of conversation going – even if he’s talking to no one in particular – and occasionally sends Steve a warm look. It’s not that he’s afraid Chucho will deny his request of keeping Olivia at the house for two weeks. He’s just nervous about having the conversation and quite possibly seeing the disappointment in his eyes when he realizes that Steve has a daughter. They never specifically sat down with him and discussed Steve’s previous life or about his family. Chucho had just assumed Steve left once a month to deal with “that DEA shit” and barely even knew a thing about Connie to begin with. Javier and Steve had decided to leave it that way. 

Steve watches Chucho hobble out of the kitchen when he finishes his food to most likely watch more of his programs. He stares at the empty space of where he was and flinches when a hand touches his. Javier looks down at him with worried eyes. “It’s okay Steve. He’s not going to judge you. Are you sure you don’t want me to just sit with you even for moral support?” Steve shakes his head, giving Javier’s hand a squeeze, and kisses his palm. “Okay. I’ll do the dishes. Don’t worry about them tonight.”

Steve stands in the entry way to the living for a long time without moving a muscle. He doesn’t know what to say or how to say it. “Are you going to come sit or what?” Chucho says from the couch. Steve frowns and opens his mouth to speak when Chucho turns in his recliner to fix him with a scrutinizing look. “Don’t think I didn’t notice you hovering back there or you sitting there like a nervous hog at the table all night.”

He closes his mouth and walks around the edge of the couch to sit at the end. Chucho puts his recliner down and clicks the TV off, giving Steve his full attention and what looks to be a curious expression. “I need to talk to you about something.”

Chucho raises his brows much like Javier does whenever Steve says something stupid and folds his arms over his chest. “Well that much was obvious. Háblame.”

Steve twiddles his thumbs as he quickly mulls over how to begin and doesn’t look Chucho in the eyes when he speaks. “I haven’t been completely honest with you for the time that I’ve been staying here for reasons I don’t even have. Javier and I just didn’t tell you the whole story, but I want to now. You know I had a wife before this, before Javi, and we broke it off during the time spent down in Colombia. We divorced months before Jav came back home. We adopted a little girl down there who was orphaned in the midst of Escobar’s reign. Her name is Olivia, and she’s almost two now. I’ve been flying out to Miami over the weekend once a month to see her since I’ve been here. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you all that right off the bat, especially now that I married your son.”

Chucho’s expression is unreadable as he stares at Steve from under the brim of his hat. “¿Por qué me lo dices ahora? (Why are you telling me now?)” he asks. 

“Connie wants me to watch Olivia for about two weeks over the Christmas holiday while she spends some time with her sister. She said Olivia misses her dad, and I couldn’t just bring a little girl home one day and expect you not to ask about it.” Steve gives him a hopeful smile and tenses when Chucho releases a deep sigh. 

“Escúchame,” he says removing his hat. He places it on his knee and pats the couch cushion right beside him. Steve hesitantly scoots over to the area, furrowing his brows when Chucho clasps a hand over his shoulder, and holds his breath at whatever he’s going to say. “You and Javier are mis hijos. You are mi hijo. You have been since the first day you came through that front door. Not once did I judge what you two shared or how you behave together and not once did I think that my boy fell for the wrong man. Nada en tu pasado es importante cuando se trata de cómo te veo. Tu familia es mi familia (Nothing in your past is important when it comes to how I see you. Your family is my family). You go on and tell Connie Olivia is all cleared for a visit. However long she wants. Quiero ver a mi nieta. (I want to see my granddaughter).”

Steve feels his hands trembling and the first few drops of tears spilling onto his cheeks. He nods at Chucho, sees the pride and sincerity in his eyes, and smiles at him. “Quit crying on my couch,” he says with a small smile of his own. He pats the side of Steve’s face and clasps his shoulder one last time before kicking his feet back up and flicking on the TV. 

Steve walks back to the kitchen in a daze with tears streaming down his face. None of Chucho’s words had made his chest swell more than him calling Steve his son and Olivia his granddaughter. He wanted to break down crying, right here on the floor, because he was in a household of people who truly loved and accepted him. He was wanted, even needed at times, and nothing strained him more than just having. 

Javier turns from the dishes in the sink at the sound of Steve stepping onto the tiled floor. His face immediately falls at the sight of Steve’s tear-streaked cheeks before morphing into something of determination and disbelief. He quickly turns off the faucet and takes a purposeful stride toward the living room until Steve’s hand stops him. “What did he say to you?” he demands softly. His hands come up to cup his face, his thumbs wiping the tears away, and his lips kissing his eyelids repeatedly.

“He said she can stay. He wants to see his nieta.”

Javier smiles at him with slight confusion in his eyes. “¿Por qué estás llorando entonces mi amor? (Why are you crying then my love?)” Steve just shakes his head, pressing the heels of his hands into his eyes, and feels Javier’s arms wrap strongly around his waist. He’s pulled into a warm embrace and tucks his crying face into the crook of Javier’s neck. Hands brush gently through his hair and rub softly across his back. A long kiss is pressed atop his head and the arms around him squeeze tighter. “Are you okay? Is everything alright?”

Steve finally takes his hands from his face and hugs Javier back firmly. He noses his way further into the comfort of his neck where he continues to silently cry fading tears. 

“Everything is perfect.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To avoid confusion “dinner” in all of my stories is referring to supper or whatever you personally call the meal you have at night as. We call it dinner where I’m from and I know some people use that term when talking about lunch so 😊  
> Also do not patronize me I know nothing of how small children behave and act or how their development works so just go with it

The moon is bright tonight, glowing softly through the small opening of the curtains, and paints Javier’s skin with an eerie light. He’s gathered in Steve’s arms in a tight embrace with their soft sheets carefully spread just above his waist. His face is peaceful, almost too serene and gentle, as he quietly breathes out small puffs of air between his slightly parted lips. Steve tenderly rubs a palm over his chest and his thumb lightly traces his collarbone. He presses a feathery kiss to the back of his shoulder with a small smile when Javier’s brow furrows slightly and nose twitches. 

Steve wants to let Javier sleep longer through the night, to leave his peaceful form be, but the pressing matter that quickly woke him was something he couldn’t ignore. 

“Querido,” he whispers into the night. He lightly shakes his shoulder and traces his thumb along his jaw. “Wake up sleepy.” Javier huffs another breath but doesn’t stir from his slumber. “Necesito hablar contigo cariño (I need to speak with you sweetheart).” He presses a kiss to the corner of Javier’s mouth and shakes his shoulder again. His brows furrow, a small noise escaping his lips, and he tries turning over on the bed to sink back into sleep. “Hey,” he says louder climbing over Javier’s body to straddle him. He takes his face in his hands and sweetly kisses his lips until a groan sounds below him. 

“Estoy tratando de dormir,” he mumbles, “¿qué quieres? (I’m trying to sleep. What do you want?)”

“I need to talk to you about something.” He smooths a hand over Javier’s hair and watches his eyes sleepily flutter open as his face turns into a grumpy pout. 

“It’s still dark out. You could’ve waited till morning.” 

“I couldn’t sleep because it’s on my mind. Being grumpy about it isn’t going to get you back to sleep faster.” He kisses just below his eyes, listening to him hum in delight, and smooths his thumb over his pouting lip. 

“Tell me then. ¿Lo que te molesta? (What’s bothering you?)” He slides his hands up the thighs straddling him and rests them over his hips. Steve tucks a tuft of hair behind Javier’s ear, sighing deeply with tired eyes. 

“Connie doesn’t know. I never told her about the marriage or even that we’re together. She thinks that I just live here as some sort of ranch hand and that you were kind enough to let me stay.”

Javier frowns slightly and shakes his head. “That doesn’t matter. You don’t have to tell her what your business is anymore. She’s just dropping off Olivia.”

“She wants to stay for dinner and meet Chucho. I wanted to tell her, but I wasn’t sure how she would react. I didn’t want her to keep Olivia from me if she found out what I was really doing here.”

Javier gives him a serious look. “But you are my ranch hand.” Steve pinches his side with a slight smirk and teasing eyes. “Well you are, and she can’t take Olivia away from you just because you love me. She wouldn’t do that to you.”

Steve nods, rolling off from his position atop Javier, and lays against his side with a palm rubbing over his stomach. “You remember you were scared about what Chucho would say about us, and that you were nervous about asking for me to stay? That’s how it is with Connie. I don’t know what she’ll say. I don’t know if she’ll accept it, us. I know it doesn’t matter what she thinks, but I don’t want her frowning on us as a family.”

Javier sighs and pulls Steve closer into his body, smooshing his partner’s face against his chest. “We don’t have to tell her,” he says rubbing a hand over Steve’s shoulder. “We can all just sit down for a meal and act like nothing’s up our sleeves. Is that what you want?”

Steve brings his hand up to curl around the back of Javier’s neck pulling him close and kissing the skin pressed against his lips. “That means you can’t touch me all night or make those lovey eyes at me when you want something. No sappy faces either.”

Javier scoffs into Steve’s hair. “I do not make lovey eyes or sappy faces at you all the time. Don’t be ridiculous.”

“Jav, all you do is look at me like I’m carrying the entire world on the back of my shoulders and with all the love you can muster. You’re a total fucking sap. Chucho knows.”

“If you don’t go back to bed in the next five minutes, I’m going to crush you in my arms. Me estás molestando y estoy cansado (You’re annoying me and I’m tired).”

“Javi.”

“Fine. I’ll just act like I don’t love you one bit, which shouldn’t be too hard, and look at you like I hate your guts. ¿Está bien? Keep me awake for one more second and I won’t have to pretend.”

Steve doesn’t say anything, just smiles into Javier’s chest with a hand rubbing up his back and listens until the breathing in his hair evens out once again. He breathes in the scent of his lover all around him and basks in the warm comfort embracing and seeping into his skin. The soft moon-lit glow of their bodies pressed together is ethereal; their beautiful love borders otherworldly. Steve closes his eyes with a light air of serenity clouding over them knowing that no matter who may know of their secret love together, they will always be a family. 

It’s always a rare treat when Javier wakes alone in the bed with the smell of breakfast already cooking wafting through the hallway and pulling him from slumber. Those are the good days. Good because he doesn’t have to force Steve out of bed. Good because he doesn’t have to make breakfast. Good because that means Steve’s in a really fantastic mood. It’s almost taboo, the fact that Steve would purposefully get out of bed before Javier because well, that’s something he almost never does. He never hides his smile when Steve saunters into the room with a mug of coffee for Javier with that dopey grin on his face and an aura of excitement, like he’s proud of himself for taking care of his husband this time instead of being a grumpy mess.

Javier shouldn’t be surprised. Olivia’s coming to visit today. 

“Are you going to sleep all day? You’re not even dressed yet. We still have to feed the animals and do the daily chores. We have to finish before they get here and if you just lay there all day like you are now we’re never going to get it all done and then-“

“Steve,” Javier says with his brow raised, “you look like the world is about to end. There’s enough time. I promise we’ll get done before she gets here. Now will you just take a deep breath and calm down?”

Steve nods with a nervous smile on his face and takes a deep breath before releasing it. He sits at the edge of the bed leaning forward to give Javier a kiss with his hand cupping his face and bumps their noses together. “Breakfast is almost done, so you should get dressed. Don’t forget to take your ring off either.”

Javier frowns up at him and grabs onto his forearm to keep him from standing up. “Why would I take it off?”

“Just so you don’t forget to before Connie shows up. You can just leave it on the nightstand if you’re worried about losing it.”

Javier shakes his head, frowning deeper. “I don’t want to take it off.”

Steve sighs and stands from the bed anyway. “She’ll start asking questions when she sees it and won’t leave you alone until she sees a picture of who the other one belongs to. Then she’ll want to know all about how you met and why your wife isn’t eating dinner with us because that’s what she’ll assume you have. A wife.” 

“I can make up a story about-“

“Jav.” Javier meets Steve’s eyes, sees the desperation of not wanting to have this conversation anymore, and closes his mouth. “It’s just for today, okay? Get dressed.” 

Javier’s frown follows Steve out their bedroom door as he reluctantly and slowly takes his ring off. He plays with it between his fingertips before eventually setting it on the nightstand and rolls out of bed. He immediately feels naked without it on, continuously touching the bare space on his finger, and doesn’t feel that discomfort leave him even well after breakfast is done. 

Steve bubbles with anticipation on the couch as he waits for the doorbell to ring. He keeps smiling at Javier next to him who only gives him a small response in return, and only vaguely wonders why he’s been unusually quiet all morning. Javier generally likes talking his ear off until Steve has to tell him to just be quiet for five minutes or when Chucho outright tells him to shut the fuck up. He can’t even remember the last time Javier kissed him before they came inside to wait. He’s about to ask him if he’s okay and if he’s feeling alright when a knock at the door sounds, causing Steve to forget the matter entirely and barely contain his excitement as he makes it to the doorway in a matter of seconds. 

“Livia!” he coos swinging the door wide open. 

A loud high-pitched squeal echoes through the entire house as Olivia throws her arms up running through the doorway screaming, “Daddy!” Steve scoops her up swiftly in his arms, twirling her around, and places a wet kiss to her cheek. She releases a fit of giggles and wraps her tiny arms around his neck in a feeble hug. 

“How’s my little girl doing?” he asks with a smile. He bounces her up and down in his arms watching her playful smile. “Hey Connie.”

“Steve.” He leans forward to kiss her cheek as well and grabs one of the bags in her hands before shutting the door in the entryway. He turns to see Javier slowly making his way down the hall with his hands in his pockets and only a slight smile. He realizes now that he’d put his own clothes on after their shower, not Steve’s.

“Hey punk,” he says to Olivia, “bet you don’t remember me.” 

She looks at him skeptically, inching herself further into Steve’s hold, then carefully reaches her hand out. She sticks her fingers into his mustache and brushes over the hairs. A slight recognition crosses her face which turns into a happy smile. She pats his face again and says, “Jabier.”

Javier’s smile is small but the surprise in his eyes is clear when he shoots Steve a strange look. “Yeah. Jabier.” Steve shrugs at him and bounces Olivia again to get her attention. 

“Let’s go put your stuff away, hm? Then maybe I can get you some juice out of the fridge.” They both disappear down the hallway in a fit of giggles until it’s just Javier and Connie standing quietly together. 

“Don’t be too shocked,” she says to him, “Steve’s been teaching her your name every time he visits and showing her a picture so she knows what you look like. I think he does it just to make sure she doesn’t forget you. You helped save her too you know.”

Javier stares after where the two of them had rounded the corner with a soft warmth in his chest. “Yeah, I suppose I did. I’ll go find Papá so you can meet him, but I will say he is a bit of a grump.” Javier exits through the back of the house in search of Chucho, remembering to remind him that Connie doesn’t know about their relationship or their marriage, and feels disheartened in the fact that they have to hide that. 

Olivia’s sitting in Steve’s lap with a bottle of juice in her hands when Javier and Chucho enter the living room. He shakes Connie’s hand first with an introduction as Javier sits on the opposite end of the couch that Steve’s on and lets out a gasp when he finally turns to see Olivia. “Oh mira a esta chica bonita! (Look at this pretty girl!) She looks just like you Murphy,” he jokes with a chuckle.

Steve rolls his eyes with a small laugh of his own. “That’s not even remotely true.”

“Tienes razon. If she looked anything like you, she’d have to be one ugly kid.” The frown he receives in response is enough to make Javier smile and a bubble of laughter to escape Connie. Chucho smiles and leans in close to Olivia where he pokes a finger at her nose. She blinks at him a few times before swatting her hands up to hit at the brim of his hat. “You like this?” he asks. She smiles and claps her hands at him. “Hm, I think this one might be too big for you. Let’s try this one.” He bends over to reach around the side of the couch where Steve’s sitting and pulls out a miniature replica of his own cowboy hat with a little string under it to keep it on her head. 

Olivia squeals loudly, reaching her hands out to grab it, and kicks her legs back against Steve’s. “Mine, mine,” she whines. Chucho places the hat on her head and tightens the string below her chin until it fits snug. She pats the top of it repeatedly before trying to bend over and says, “Down.” Steve sets her onto the floor and watches with a laugh as she tears through the living room with unbridled joy, screaming and making wild noises as she runs in circles. 

“What on Earth did you feed her this morning?” he asks Connie.

She shrugs with a smile. “She wouldn’t stop fidgeting on the plane. I think she’s just all pent up from the long ride. Give her a few laps and she’ll probably pass out on the floor.”

Olivia continues running wildly around the house with her arms either flailing wildly or holding onto the top of her hat. She runs into Chucho’s legs quite a few times, giggling when she stumbles, and squeals in evasion when Steve chases her around with an intent to catch her. Javier watches them silently on the couch with only a hint of a smile as his fingers continue to fiddle with the naked spot where his ring should be and feels his chest squeeze whenever he catches the excitement on Steve’s face. He tries not to stare at him too much with that look of adoration he always gives him, instead finding himself spacing out more often than not. 

“I’m going to start dinner,” he finally says standing from the couch. No one acknowledges him as he leaves the living room and starts pulling things out to prepare the food. He’s making a chicken alfredo with roasted potatoes and garlic bread on the side with hopes of doing it all himself. He needs the distraction for reasons he can’t define. He just doesn’t feel right.

He’s almost through cutting all the red potatoes he needs when something bumps roughly into his leg before clutching onto him for dear life. He looks down to see a very out of breath Olivia staring right back at him with her arms wrapped around his leg. He raises a brow at her and continues chopping like nothing happened. Olivia stomps her feet. “Jabier.”

He looks down at her again with a slight smirk. “I don’t know what you want. I don’t speak little kid.”

He goes back to cutting the potatoes listening when she stomps her feet again and tugs on his pantleg. “Jabier,” she demands more angrily.

“Un momento. Let me finish with the knife first.” He quickly finishes cutting the last potato and wipes his hands on a towel before looking down at her again. “What?” She reaches her arms up making grabbing motions with her hands. “I’m trying to cook. I can’t do that and hold you.” She bounces on her feet with a whine and an adorable pout on her face. Javier sighs. “Fine.” He picks her up from the floor and settles her in the crook of his left arm as she lays her head on his shoulder with her arms coming to wrap around his neck. He swallows a sudden lump in his throat while biting the inside of his cheek to keep his chest from exploding. “Yeah, I bet you’re tired. You just about ran a whole marathon through the house you chica loca.” 

Olivia doesn’t say anything as she lays there, so Javier returns to the potatoes by emptying them all into a large bowl. He covers them in a nice layer of oil olive before shaking the bowl to get them all mixed up and consistent throughout. He sprinkles them with pepper, adding a small spoonful of minced garlic, and diverts his attention to the soft voice beside his ear. “Tatoes,” Olivia says. 

Javier chuckles softly with a nod of his head. “Potatoes, yes. But tatoes works just fine too. You can’t forget the garlic or the special seasoning salt. They won’t taste so good otherwise. You want to put the salt on? I’ll help you.” He hands Olivia the small container of his special seasoning and helps her shake it over the bowl until he’s satisfied. “Perfect. You’ll be a master chef in no time. Now we shake the bowl again to get the seasoning all mixed up.” He shakes the bowl in front of her and tilts it so she can see them all mixed up before pouring them into a baking pan. He spreads them out with a spatula and sets the pan aside on the counter. “There. Those will be so yummy, and I’ll tell everyone you helped make them.” She giggles at him patting her hands on his shoulder and reaches up to brush over his mustache again. He crinkles his nose. “You like that huh? It’s better than your dad’s you think?”

“No,” Steve says from the doorway. He’s leaning against the entrance to the kitchen with his arms over his chest and a soft smile on his face. He looks proud and almost sentimental. “You keep showing her how to do things and she’ll be a better cook than you someday.”

Javier scoffs at him as he walks toward the two of them. “As long as you’re not teaching her how to do it. You’re awful at cooking.”

Steve frowns at him as he tickles a finger under Olivia’s chin. “I make good breakfast when I actually get up to do it.”

“No, that’s if you get up to do it. Not when. And your breakfast is only bearable.”

Steve shoves his shoulder with a teasing smile. “Te odio you stupid bastard.” Javier has to stop himself from reaching out to touch Steve’s face and lean in to kiss him. The need to overwhelms him, making him clench his fists and twitch his bare finger with an almost pained expression. He pulls his eyebrows together and turns from Steve, not being able to look at him and hide his affection. A hand brushes lightly at his elbow, and he can feel the softness of Steve’s voice dizzy him. “Hey-“ 

“Oh, what are we making in here?” Steve steps away from Javier as Connie and Chucho walk into the kitchen. Javier shakes his head slightly, handing Olivia over to Steve, and washes his hands at the sink. 

“I’m not cooking yet, just prepping. I’ll let you know when I finish so it’s a surprise.”

“Tatoes!!” Olivia shouts. 

Steve laughs with his eyes still on Javier. A small hint of worry laces through his face. “Looks like she just spoiled your secret. ¿Quieres ayuda? (Do you want help?)”

Javier turns to look at everyone. He doesn’t feel right. He wants to be alone. “No. No, it’s fine. You know I like to cook myself. ¿Por qué no llevas a todos a ver a las vacas? (Why don’t you take everyone to see the cows?) I’m sure Olivia would like to pet them.” He gives her a small smile and pokes at her side. “You want daddy to take you to the cows? You want to see them?”

Olivia squeals again with her arms shooting in the air. “Cows! Cows! Daddy cows!” 

Steve laughs at her. “Okay, okay. We’ll go see the cows.” Javier nods toward the door when Steve gives him a questioning look then busies himself with rummaging for ingredients in the refrigerator. He listens to the growing quiet as they leave through the back and misses Steve’s lingering eyes on his slumped figure. 

Chucho gives Olivia a piggyback ride the entire way to the barn giggling along with her as he bounces her on his shoulders. Steve walks behind him with his hands in his pockets and Connie at his side. They listen to Olivia’s nonsensical noises with happy smiles on their faces, but Steve can’t shake the small sense that something’s not quite right today. He just can’t figure out what.

“So, what kind of things do you do around here? I mean besides care for the animals and make sure the place is up to date. Do you sell any product or even the animals?” Connie asks as they continue walking toward the barn. Ahead Chucho whistles some familiar tune as he bounces Olivia on his shoulders. 

“We mostly just supply dairy. A large supply of the eggs sold in the stores around here and at the markets come from our very own coop. We own a million chickens, I swear. If you didn’t know any better, you might even mistake the chicken’s coop as a small house with how big it has to be to house them all. We make a good amount of fresh milk and cheese to sell only at the markets with the little amount of cows we have. There’s also a vegetable and flower garden way on the opposite side of where we are now. Javier mostly tends to that, but those things sell like candy when they’re ready to be harvested. Our cows are just for milking, so we don’t sell those out but when the hens start to stop being able to produce good eggs, we offer them up to chicken plant a town over that uses them for meat. They pay well too.”

Connie raises her brows. “Wow, that’s a lot of different things for only the three of you to handle. I never pegged Javier for the gardening type or even flowers. I can’t imagine him planting anything.”

Steve chuckles. “Then you clearly don’t know him as well as anyone else. He’ll spend hours out there getting rid of all the weeds and making sure they’re all cared for. He got real upset one time when rabbits got into his green peppers and don’t even get me started on whatever ruined his rose bushes. I thought he was going to kill someone for just breathing next to him he was so pissed.” 

“So how do you go about selling stuff at the market? You just pack the truck and go?”

Steve shrugs with intrigue furrowed in his brows. “I don’t really know. Chucho usually goes into town himself on Saturdays and deals with all that. I think he sets up a little stall and acts like a vendor for a few hours. Sometimes Javier goes with, but my job here is really just helping specifically on the land and the animals. I don’t handle the consumer part. I wouldn’t even know what to do.” 

“Maybe you could go with one time and see what it’s all about. Then you’d have that part under your belt and won’t ever have to worry about it in case they needed you to go for some reason. Do you at least like it here?”

Steve smiles with thoughts of everything that’s happened on the Peña’s farm over the past year. Everything from reuniting with his best friend and finding love to growing a new family that never seems to quit on him. “I’ve never loved being anywhere else than how much I love being here.” 

While Steve’s gut may have sensed that maybe something was off with Javier today, it was certainly confirmed during dinner. The table was unusually quieter than it is every night, and Steve immediately pinpointed that it was because Javier had barely uttered a word when they all sat down. He was always the last to get done eating because he spent the entire time too focused on talking to everyone else and asking about their day. None of that light conversation or usual small banter was present. Even Chucho had given Steve a strange look that asked a silent question of if he knew what was wrong. No one asked about it at the table though. Javier barely looked up from his plate and ate slowly, like he wasn’t even hungry to begin with. He loved chicken alfredo. 

Connie and Olivia pay no mind to Javier’s quiet demeanor, and they don’t know any better. Connie had barely spent time with Javier during their time in Colombia and hadn’t seem him for over a year. And Olivia, well, she didn’t count. 

Steve doesn’t pay as much attention to his daughter as he probably should while they eat. He hears he giggles and squeals in the background, but his entire focus is directed at Javier. He watches him as he eats, notices the way his shoulders are slumped and how his brows are pulled too close together, with a slow sinking feeling in his chest. Javier had been acting a little reserved all day, and Steve thought maybe it was in anticipation of Olivia coming to visit, but the way he was acting brought too many unpleasant memories back from how he was in Colombia. The long nights spent with whiskey and cigarettes, and the dark shroud of just wanting it all to be over clouding his entire being. Javier hadn’t been like that since before Steve risked everything to tell him he loved him too. Since before Steve had stepped foot on the Peña property. 

Javier is physically with them at the dinner table, Steve can see that, but mentally he looks to be trapped in the throws of the evil Colombia had wrought upon them. 

“So, you rented a beach house out in Corpus Christi you said?” Chucho asks from across the table. Upon Connie’s nod he continues. “Do you have anything special planned for Christmas Day?”

“Currently, no. But I was actually hoping to talk to Steve about that after we finished eating.”

“Well, I’m all ears now. What do you got?” He engages in the conversation but doesn’t move his eyes far from Javier’s slumped form.

“I was just wondering if you’d have me over for dinner again on Christmas if you guys didn’t already have plans. I just hate to leave Olivia for so long because we don’t generally spend this much time apart, and I don’t know how she’ll react to me being gone for two weeks.” She looks hopeful when she asks it as if she’s afraid that they’d deny her to come back for another day just because it’s Steve’s turn to watch over Olivia. 

Chucho scoffs. “I believe you are always welcome here, and I don’t have any objection to you coming over for dinner another day. Murphy?”

Steve shakes his head with a soft smile. “I don’t mind either. I’m sure Olivia would like to spend Christmas with you too.”

Javier suddenly clears his throat quite loudly and pushes himself away from the table. “Ya no tengo hambre (I’m not hungry more),” he mutters. He abruptly stands from the table with an unreadable expression. His face is pulled tight with something Steve can’t place, and they all listen to the back door close as Javier quietly leaves the room without meeting anyone’s eyes. Steve grinds his teeth worriedly as he shoots Chucho a quick look and tries not to think about how Javier barely touched anything on his plate.

“Jabier,” Olivia whines.

“Is he okay?”

Steve puts on the fakest smile he can muster as he looks to Connie. “He’s just in a mood today. Give him a few minutes and I’ll go see what’s up.” He turns to Olivia and wipes an obscene amount of alfredo sauce off her chin. “Don’t you worry about Jabier Livia. Why don’t we finish eating, yeah?” He feels a slight shake in his hands as he helps feed Olivia the rest of her food, suddenly feeling disinterested in what’s left of his plate. He can’t help the small smile that graces his lips when she giggles at him and tries mashing the potatoes in front of her. Chucho puts a hand on his shoulder as he stands from his chair with an empty plate. 

“Voy a lavar los platos. No te preocupes por ellos (I will do the dishes. Don’t worry about them),” he says quietly. He thanks him with his eyes and fixes the crooked hat on Olivia’s head. 

Steve doesn’t see Javier right away as he steps through the back door and onto their tiled patio. The truck still sits around the corner, so Steve thinks that perhaps he’s taken a walk to the barn as Javier often does when he’s grumpier than usual and starts to head that way. He stops short, however, when he finds him seated in one of the patio chairs that he’s moved around the corner of the house in a way that seems hidden. He didn’t want Steve to find him.

Javier’s slumped in the chair with his chin resting in one hand and a clear tumbler of what looks like whiskey in the other. Steve almost audibly gasps at the sight. Javier hadn’t touched a bottle of anything stronger than a can of beer in months and decided to quit poisoning himself with alcohol the minute Steve gave him a reason to live peacefully. He doesn’t look at Steve as he approaches him or wipe the pitying expression from his face. He looks utterly hopeless, lost even, and in pain. It makes Steve’s gut wrench with something awful. 

“¿Qué pasó?” he asks softly. He feels the lines of worry lacing through his features as he kneels between Javier’s legs and places his palms on top of his thighs, rubbing gentle circles over his jeans. “What’s wrong with you Javi? Why are you drinking?” Javier refuses to meet his concerned eyes, instead staring down into the liquid of his glass, and doesn’t say anything in response. He flinches slightly when Steve reaches a hand up to caress his cheek, his brows furrowing further. “Please talk to me.” He still remains silent, now swirling the contents of his drink, and takes a deep breath. Steve leans forward to kiss him tenderly, but Javier turns his head to the side with his eyes closed. Steve feels his chest constrict and his breathing grow more rapid. The beginnings of the need to cry build behind his eyes and make his head hurt. Javier never denies himself a kiss. “Cariño?” he asks timidly. 

Javier squeezes his eyes shut more. “Please leave me alone,” he says so quiet and broken that Steve almost doesn’t hear it. His breath falters at Javier’s words and the pit of dread in his stomach grows. His voice shakes but that doesn’t matter. 

“Mi amor-“

“Please.” Steve lingers for a moment longer, clutching at Javier as much as he can, before standing with a last squeeze to his thigh. He wipes his arm over his eyes and takes a deep breath to keep his tears at bay and his hurt hidden. 

“Fine. You can come back inside and play with your daughter when you’re done being an asshole.”

Javier doesn’t open his eyes until he hears the back door close forcefully. He lets out a tiny whimper as a single tear escapes him. 

The rest of the night is significantly quieter than how it was when Connie and Olivia first arrived. They’re all sitting together on the couch with Chucho in his recliner as a children’s movie plays on the TV. Olivia had settled down almost immediately after eating her food, taking turns between sitting cuddled next to Steve on the couch on wriggling around in Chucho’s lap. Javier had yet to come back inside, and Connie had sensed that whatever was wrong with him was really bothering Steve. She thankfully decided not to ask him about it. He’d only minutely shaken his head at Chucho when he silently asked him if things were alright.

“Well, I should probably head out toward the house. My sister is probably wondering what’s taking me so long,” Connie says as she stands from the couch. Olivia had fallen soundly asleep in Chucho’s arms only minutes earlier. Steve stands with her to show her out the door and gives her a quick hug. 

“If anything changes with your Christmas plans just give us a call, but you are welcome to come back here if you want. I’ll make sure Olivia doesn’t cause too much trouble. I wouldn’t worry about her though, I think Chucho has already fallen in love with her.”

Connie makes a noise as she opens the door. “I wouldn’t doubt it. It’s raining pretty hard out here. You should probably go check on Javier. I didn’t see him come back inside.”

“Yeah, you’re right. Drive safe, and I’ll see you later.” Steve makes his way back into the living room to ask Chucho if he’ll be okay to stay with Olivia for awhile but finds him already asleep in the chair with her. A smile graces his face at both of their sleeping forms cuddled together and their matching cowboy hats. He leaves them to quietly sleep, turning the TV volume down, and walks out into the pouring rain. 

He doesn’t expect Javier to be sitting in the same chair or to even be hanging out somewhere around the patio due to the rain, but he checks anyway and gets immediately drenched in the process. The truck hasn’t moved from its haphazard parking near the side of the house, and Steve knows that the only other place Javier would be is in the barn talking with the cows (he’d confided once that he found comfort in talking with his animals). He must have walked there before the rain started or was too drunk to even care about getting wet. Steve climbs into the truck, getting the seat all wet, and squints through the thick sheets of rain as he carefully navigates toward the barn. 

It had already been growing dark when Connie left, but it’s completely dark by the time Steve makes it to the barn. He can barely see the outline of it through the night sky and the downpour but can readily see the door is slid open enough for just one person to pass through. He hurries inside, shivering at the cold on his skin the rain has brought, and seeks out Javier’s eyes in the dim light of the barn. Only a few lanterns are lit inside the cow pen and one sitting on a work bench. “Jav?” he calls. Maria, one of the cows, walks slowly to edge of the pen at the sound of Steve’s voice lowing softly. He pats the side of her face and scans the rest of the pen, noticing a small herd of them laying together at the back wall of the barn. A mess of dark curls peaks over the top of one of their backs. He hops the side of the pen, avoiding any clusters of cow pies, and reaches where Javier is buried in a slew of sleeping cows. 

Javier’s eyes are closed, and his mouth hangs open slightly as quiet snores sound in the otherwise silent barn. He’s leaning against Roberta with an arm thrown over her back and Lucía’s head resting in his lap. His other arm is nursing a half-empty bottle of whiskey and trapped tightly against his body where Susie decided to half lay on his side. Steve lets out a long sigh. He tries shooing some of the cows away to comfortably get to Javier but receives disgruntled moos instead. He leans over Lucía to fish the bottle of whiskey out from the crook of Javier’s arm and sets it on one of the rusty work benches outside of the cow pen. Lucía finally abandons her position over Javier’s lap, so Steve leans in front of him and shakes him lightly. “Come on amor. I need to get you into a real bed.” Javier doesn’t move from his spot or show any signs of waking. “God you’re so fucking out of it. You better not get alcohol poisoning or anything.” He brushes the back of his hand across Javier’s cheek, watching his nose barely twitch, and slides a hand around his back. “Let’s go cariño.” He pulls Javier’s limp body close against his in a tight hold and only falters slightly as he stands with him in his arms. 

Steve’s quick to pack Javier’s sleeping body into the truck, suddenly grateful that the rusty piece of shit has bench seats and makes sure the barn doors are closed before slowly driving back to the house. He lays Javier’s head on his thigh as he mans the wheel, sneaking a cold hand under his rumpled and hay-covered shirt to rub over his warm stomach. “I don’t know what’s wrong with you Javi,” he says to a silent audience, “but you can’t do shit like that. I’m worried about you. Te amo demasiado para que me asustes así (I love you too much for you to scare me like this).” He lightly kisses Javier’s forehead when he finally pulls up to where the truck is usually parked. He scoops him into his arms again, struggling to exit the vehicle and not slip in the mud, while shivering because the air has grown cold against his wet skin. 

Chucho looks up tiredly from his chair when Steve enters the room with Javier cradled into his chest. “¿Qué está mal con él? (What is wrong with him?)” he asks quietly. 

Steve shrugs with a defeated look. “I don’t know. He was drinking, but he wouldn’t talk to me. He said he wanted to be alone.”

Chucho nods slowly like he understands and gives Steve a reassuring look. “Olivia and I will sleep here tonight. Don’t worry about her. You go on up to bed and take care of him, okay?” Steve bids him a quiet thank you and goodnight before hauling Javier up the stairs to their bedroom. 

He lays Javier carefully on the bed and immediately heads for the bathroom to peel off the wet clothes clinging to his skin. He rubs a towel over his body, ridding himself of excess water and the feeling of being soaked to the bone, and shivers nakedly in the dark. He fishes a new pair of boxers out from his drawer and quickly slips into them with any semblance of keeping the cold away. Javier and him usually sleep naked using only each other for warmth and comfort. He runs his hand up Javier’s chest to wipe a raindrop from his temple and noticed the faint tracks of dried tears down his cheeks in the moonlight. He strips him quickly with a deep frown on his face and sadness wrought through his features. A small quirk of his lips is the only change of his mood when he discovers Javier again chose to wear nothing under his jeans. He’s about to tuck Javier into the sheets and join him in the bed when he feels something in the back pocket of the jeans in his hands. He pulls out a slip of folded paper and knows immediately what it has to be. It’s Javier’s handwriting, albeit more crooked and messy probably because he wrote it while drunk, and Steve reads:

My heart, so frail  
I entrust to none other than you  
These demons barge in  
They take it, they crush it  
And I am left oh so blue.

They run, they hide  
I reach for none other than you  
These demons barge in  
They slap me, they taint me  
And I am shot through and through.

They laugh, they sneer  
I need none other than you  
These demons barge in  
They trick me, they drown me  
And I am gone  
With nothing left to give you.

Steve does nothing but shakily set the paper down on the nightstand and cover his face with his hands. He only lets a few small sobs escape him before he’s taking deep breaths and wiping his hands over his face to clear the immediate need to start bawling. He smooths a hand over the side of Javier’s face and gently brushes his hair back. “Te amo Javi, te amo.” His voice is quiet, broken, and anything but how it should sound through the excitement he woke up with this morning. He climbs into the opposite side of the bed and pulls Javier into his chest, tucking his sleeping face into the crook of his neck. Javier makes a groaning noise, vaguely putting his arms around Steve and breathing out deeply. Steve pulls the sheets over them, rubbing a hand over Javier’s back and twisting his fingers into the tufts of hair at the base of his head, and holds him tighter. He never wanted to feel cold again.

The sun is higher in the sky than it usually is when Steve wakes in a bed that no longer feels warm. Javier isn’t with him, and Steve spots his ring still sitting on the nightstand where he’d left it the previous morning. Steve had put his back on the second Connie left but it seems Javier never got that far. The faint smell of wet clothes and stale vomit circulates through the bathroom, and Steve guesses that Javier had gotten up sometime through the night to empty the contents of his stomach. He opens the small window on the wall next to the shower silently thanking Javier for remembering to flush the toilet after he was done puking. 

Olivia runs straight into Steve’s legs as he walks into the living room. “Daddy!” she shouts. She hugs his legs and jumps up and down until he picks her up with a smile. 

“Hey there miss Livia. Did you sleep good?” She covers her face in her hands and wriggles around in his arms. Chucho walks into the room from the kitchen drying his hands on a small towel. 

“Decided to sleep in today, huh? I left you a plate of food because you always bitch about it, and I know Javier doesn’t usually eat breakfast.”

Olivia pats the side of Steve’s slightly confused face and pulls on his mustache. “Jabier!” she shouts. 

“Have you seen him? He didn’t wake me up like he usually does.”

Chucho frowns at him. “Olivia and I were awake a little before the sun came up. He didn’t pass through here. I thought he was up sleeping with you. That’s why I made breakfast. He’s probably at the property line out by the river to see how high the water came up and if the posts need replacing. They usually do after it rains.” 

Steve nods as he sets an impatient Olivia down. “Okay. I’ll go check on him and see if he needs any help.”

Olivia stomps her feet on the ground and cries an overexaggerated pout. “Jabier!” she whines. 

Steve kneels before her with a small smile and pokes at her sides until her mad expression disappears. “You want to play with Jabier?” She nods furiously with her arms thrown up in the air like she just won the lottery. “Daddy’s going to go find him then so he can play. Alright?” She pays him no mind, instead deciding to start running her laps through the house while squealing like a little piglet and not even noticing when he slips through the back door. 

Steve makes the same trek he had previously done on the first day he arrived on the Peña property. The walk is long, the ground is slightly soft from the rain, and the sun beats on his back without mercy. He feels his stomach grumble at his lack of breakfast and the ultimate lack of not wanting to eat in the first place. Steve’s stomach hasn’t stopped churning since last night’s dinner, and he doesn’t expect it to anytime soon. He’ll count himself lucky if Javier even decides to talk to him when he reaches the river, and even luckier if he’ll tell him what’s wrong. Even through their marriage Javier still had his insecurities about sharing his feelings. Steve had been patient in waiting for him to open up and reassured him at every chance he could that he wasn’t going anywhere, that he wouldn’t judge him for whatever emotions ran through his mind, and that he loved him regardless. 

He approaches the back of the rusty truck with something akin to anticipation and nervousness. He doesn’t know what’s going to happen, and he half expects Javier to have a glass of whiskey in his hand already or worse – a cigarette. He’d given those up over six months ago. 

Javier’s sitting in the grass in front of the truck with a can of beer in his hand. He’s staring out across the river which has barely risen over the ground, ruining only three posts. He’s wearing a pale-yellow shirt (Steve’s favorite) and doesn’t acknowledge him as he walks up beside the truck. He watches him silently, noticing that he looks bothered, and catches him fiddling with his bare ring finger. “What are you doing?” he asks. 

He takes a long sip from his beer with his eyes still on the river. “Waiting for the water to go down.”

Steve doesn’t realize how much he missed Javier’s voice or how relieved he is to hear it until he speaks. He feels a slight relief at the sound. “How long will that take?”

Javier shrugs and rests his forearms on his knees. “Couple hours. Couple days. I don’t know.” 

Steve folds his arms over his chest with slight tendrils of anger flaring up in his stomach. Sure he was worried about Javier, but the guy was acting like a dick about it. “And you’re just going to sit here until that happens?”

“Yes,” he replies with no hesitation. 

“You left your ring on the nightstand this morning.”

“You told me you didn’t want me to wear it.”

Steve stares at the back of Javier’s head in disbelief with a scoff. “That’s what this is about? I only asked you to not wear it for one day to protect our relationship from Connie. We talked about it, and you said it was fine that we didn’t tell her, that we kept it a secret. Taking our rings off doesn’t mean we’re taking away our love or breaking off what we have. I just-“

“It’s not about the fucking rings Steve.” 

“Then what? Was it Connie? Olivia? Her asking to come stay again for Christmas? You said all those things were fine and then suddenly they weren’t. So what?” Javier doesn’t say anything and hasn’t once removed his eyes from looking across the water. He makes no move to face Steve or answer his question, instead taking a long pull from the can in his hand. Steve advances on Javier, swiping the can from his hand and chucking it into the river. Javier finally looks at him with anger and pain mixing in his eyes. He shoves at Steve’s thighs hard, not moving to leave the ground, and making him stumble. 

“¿Qué coño es tu problema? (What the fuck is your problem?)”

Steve lets out an exasperated laugh and points an angry finger at Javier. “My problem? What the fuck is wrong with you? You didn’t act like yourself at all yesterday. You barely spoke to anyone and you wanted to be alone. You told me of all people to let you be and refused to kiss me. I think I got maybe three kisses from you yesterday in total before you basically told me to fuck off and drink yourself unconscious with something you gave up months ago. You haven’t touched that shit or even drank that much in a long time Javier. I found you in the barn and carried you back to fucking bed because you were so off the wagon. And you wouldn’t just talk to me! That’s what I’m here for Javi. I’m here for you, I always have been, and you just threw me away when I know you needed me most. You hurt me. I’m so hurt that you won’t talk to me about whatever it is and deny me when I just want to comfort you. So fuck you and your cheap beer. Go act like you don’t give a shit to someone who doesn’t care if I’m such a burden.” 

Javier doesn’t say anything, doesn’t even look like he listened to anything that just came out of Steve’s mouth. Steve can feel the tears threatening to spill and throws his arms up in defeat before starting to walk away. He only makes it barely past the truck when a loud sniffle catches his ear. He stops and feels his heart break further. Javier rarely cries, the last time being the night when Steve asked him to marry him, and that makes Steve go back to him. 

He kneels in front of Javier and takes his face in his hands. Tears are flowing freely out of his sad eyes, and Steve’s thumbs aren’t fast enough to wipe them all away. He sits on his knees, brushing a hand through Javier’s hair, and gently kisses his trembling lips. “I read your poem cariño,” he speaks softly to him. Javier’s hands come up to cover the ones Steve has on his face. “Tell me about the demons. Why are they hurting you?”

“I can’t,” he chokes out, “I couldn’t do it. I would’ve ruined everything. I had to busy myself before I exploded.”

Steve’s brows furrow as Javier pushes him back onto his bottom. “What are you talking about?” he asks. Javier then crawls into his lap and places his own hands on Steve’s face. 

“I couldn’t lie. I couldn’t pretend. It hurt so bad Steve, to not be able to touch you, to kiss you, to be us when Connie was there. I know I said it didn’t matter, but I was being crushed. The need to be yours just kept seeping into my bones, and I couldn’t will it away. I itched to hold you and tell you how much I loved you the entire time. I had to be alone, I had to stay away, otherwise I knew I wouldn’t be able to make it. I need you, you ground me, and not being able to be us felt like it did in Colombia. I felt like just your asshole partner again who did nothing but pine over you when your life was already built without me. All I did was hurt, and I couldn’t alleviate it without giving us up. I’m sorry I hurt you, you know I’ve never wanted that, but I just couldn’t deal. I was suffocating without you.” 

Javier’s entire face is wet with tears that just won’t stop coming with his eyes stained red from the effort and shrouded in a mix of guilt and hurt. Steve feels his own cheeks slightly wetter than they were before and feels his lips quiver as he affectionately smiles at Javier. He runs a hand over the side of his head, brushing over his ear, and threads his fingers into his dark hair. “You were upset because you love me too much?”

“No te burles de mi. No pedí enamorarse de ti (Don’t make fun of me. I didn’t ask to fall for you),” he says leaning into Steve’s touch. “I never thought I could miss your hands so much. Necesito sentir tu toque (I need to feel your touch).”

Steve lightly scratches his fingernails over Javier’s scalp and just behind his ear while his free arm snakes around his waist. He guides his mouth towards his and kisses him deeply, feeling the hands cupping his face tighten. “So that was it then? You felt lost and not like yourself because we couldn’t be us like we are now? Because we had to hide who we were?”

Javier nods as a few more tears slip past his eyes. “Yes. Yes, that’s why. Not because of Olivia, never because of her. And it wasn’t Connie either. I just didn’t feel right.”

“Oh Javi,” he says caressing his face, “te amo. Te amo. Dame un beso mi amor.” 

Javier draws his face toward him and meets his lips with nothing short of adoration. Steve’s tongue immediately breaches Javier’s mouth with the distinct taste of salty tears on both of their lips. They bite and lick, tugging at each other’s hair, and Javier’s hands find their way down to the button of Steve’s jeans. Steve moans into Javier’s mouth at the rough touch of his dry hand moving over his head and down his dick. He kisses him harder and more urgently but stops abruptly when a whimper sounds against him followed by trembling lips. “Javi,” he mumbles against him in an effort to pull away. “Stop.” He grabs the wrist of the hand down his pants and bumps their noses together. “Why are you still crying?”

Javier wipes his face with his arm but lets loose another quiet whimper. “Necesito tocarte. Necesito sentirte. Necesito tu amor más que cualquier otra cosa en este mundo y lo necesito ahora. Por favor Steve. Te quiero tanto que mi corazón se siente como si estuviera ardiendo todos los días de mi vida. Lo necesito (I need to touch you. I need to feel you. I need your love more than anything else in this world and I need it now. Please Steve. I love you so fucking much my heart feels like it's on fire every day of my life. I need it),” he whines. 

Javier wastes no time in surging forward to kiss him again with a biting force. Steve’s almost astounded at how weak Javier already is for him, begging for his touch, when he’s barely even kissed him for more than three minutes. You’d think they’d been apart for months with how needy he was when really it’d only been a day. He reaches for Javier’s belt, unclasping it as their hips begin to rock together, and moves his hands to run over his chest. His dips his touch under Javier’s shirt and thumbs at his nipple, listening to the groan it produces against his lips. “¿Qué quieres?” he asks into his begging mouth. 

“Jódeme, por favor. Te necesito.” Steve nods against him and brings their lips together again. 

Javier wastes no time in getting his jeans pulled down to just below his ass and helps Steve do the same. He spits into his hand before pumping Steve’s dick a few times and starts lining himself up. Immediate hands on his waist stop him. “Let me prep you first,” Steve says with a hint of confusion. 

“No.”

“It’s going to hurt a lot then.”

“I know how sex works Steve. I want it to hurt. I need it to hurt. Quiero que me lastime (I want you to hurt me).” He sinks down onto Steve all at once without warning, loudly crying out at the burning stretch and digging his nails deep into Steve’s skin. The moan Steve lets out along with him is throaty, and he has to squeeze his eyes shut to keep himself from falling apart at the sudden heat. “Oh mierda te necesito,” Javier whines. 

Steve pulls Javier’s body close to his, wrapping an arm around his waist and the other snaking up into the curls at the bottom of his head, and sucks on the skin just behind his jaw. Javier moves his hips only slightly but it’s enough to make Steve start thrusting slowly. Their position is odd, and being on the grass doesn’t help anyone, but Steve can feel Javier’s wet dick rubbing against his stomach and his nails bruising the skin of his back as Javier fights the tears of pain in his eyes. Steve meets him in a sloppy kiss that’s uncoordinated and bites on Javier’s bottom lip hard enough to the point where he thinks he tastes blood and swallows the strangled moan that it releases. 

Their gasps are becoming louder and more rapid while Javier’s broken rambling starts to make less and less sense. Steve suddenly remembers what Javier had told him the last time they were in this position and roughly grabs his cheeks with his hand as he fucks into him. Javier squeaks at the sudden pressure on his face, furrowing his brows in confusion, but lets the girliest moan rise up through his throat when Steve spits on his face mumbling, “eres mi putita.”

Javier’s eyes flutter closed as he tips his head back with his mouth wide open and the filthiest noises escaping him. “Oh, oh sí. Soy tu putita.” Steve brings their mouths back together, tasting the tinge of Javier’s blood on his tongue, and groans at the fast-building coil about to explode in his abdomen. 

“¿Quién es tu patrón?” Steve asks against Javier’s cheek, “Quién?” The hold tightens in his hair as he picks up the pace, chasing the pleasure of Javier’s tight heat. 

“Tú,” he moans, “tú eres mi-“ And then Javier’s muscles are tensing and the wet slide against Steve’s stomach turns into a sticky warmth as he comes hard all over the both of them. Steve follows him only a few thrusts later at Javier’s sudden tightening and quickly pulls his body against him, rubbing a palm over the back of his neck. 

Javier lays his head on Steve’s shoulder feeling his fingers brush through his hair and massage at his tender scalp. “You’re such a good boy Javi,” he whispers to him. Javier hums into his neck, closing his eyes when a kiss is pressed to his temple. “My good boy.” 

They stay like that for a long time, sitting in the grass with Javier slumped against Steve in his lap, and Steve brushing his hair out of his face or rubbing hands over his back. He thinks Javier may have fallen asleep at one point but a kiss to his collarbone and nuzzle into his neck proves him wrong. Javier brings his arm to wrap around Steve’s shoulder in a partial hug and his hand to cover the back of his head. 

“I’m going to tell her,” Steve finally says after the long quiet of just their breathing. 

Javier sits up from his rested position on Steve’s shoulder and scrunches his brows. “What?”

“Connie. I’m going to tell her about us. Before Christmas day.”

Javier’s face falls and his hands come up to cup Steve’s cheeks. “Amor, you don’t have to-“

“You were in pain Javi,” he says in a firm voice, “I won’t let it happen again. I’m going to tell her with or without your permission. We shouldn’t need to hide, okay?”

Javier nods as a genuine smile spreads across his face. “Thank you.”

Steve brings his thumb to wipe at Javier’s bottom lip. “You’re bleeding.”

“You bit me too hard.”

“You said you wanted me to hurt you.”

And when Javier complains for the rest of the day that his ass hurts, Steve’s only response is “I told you so.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow this was super long and i did not intend it to and i feel like i rushed the end a bit. idk if you guys like when i write this longer stuff but i quite literally cannot help myself
> 
> yes i am back with the og poems


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes it is domestic stavier with olivia time
> 
> let us roll through the grass with them and smile at how such good dads they are
> 
> i'd write the whole world upon your backs if you'd let me see the stars through your embrace just once

Soft giggles filter through Steve’s barely conscious state, dragging him further from sleep but warming his heart. Persistent lips move just behind his ear mixed with soft nibbles of teeth at his lobe bringing him comfort and a soothing sense to keep his eyes closed. A calloused but gentle hand rubs at the back of his shoulder with fingers pressing intently into his tired muscles. Another hand scratches at the back of his neck and up through his hair, nails scraping tenderly over his scalp with light massages of fingertips. Small hands push at his bare chest followed by more soft giggles and a quiet voice beside his ear. He can’t understand what they’re saying, doesn’t want to, and feels a tiny groan rumble through his body when the hand rubbing his shoulder shakes him lightly. He rolls onto his back with a huff and reaches for the warm body he knows is hovering above him at the moment. His arms blindly wrap around Javier’s back and he attempts to pull him down against him, fulling expecting him to remain unmoved. He groans again, however, when Javier relents by dropping his entire weight onto Steve and burying his nose in his neck. He hears Olivia giggle beside them but still chooses to will his body back into his half-asleep state. 

“Steve,” Javier mumbles against his skin. He doesn’t answer but rubs his hands over Javier’s back finding him dressed already. His hands move further down until they’re over Javier’s ass where he squeezes playfully. “Quit that,” he chuckles, raising his head from Steve’s collarbone to look at his closed eyes. “Steve.” 

He groans again, scrunching his brows, and turns his head to the side. “Déjame dormir (Let me sleep),” he whines. 

“Daddy sleeping,” Olivia says. 

“I know, but daddy needs to be waking. Come on baby, you need to get up.” Javier brings his hand up to cup Steve’s cheek and bumps his nose against his. He barely brushes his lips over Steve’s chapped ones, sighing when he receives no response. “Livie tell daddy what we brought him.” He feels Javier’s arms slide around the back of his neck in a tight hug and the wiry scratch of his mustache when he nuzzles into the side of his face. He was like a goddamn clingy animal. 

“Coffee,” she says happily. The mattress moves slightly under him as Olivia bounces in her spot. 

“Oh, coffee. Doesn’t that sound good Steve? I know I’d wake up for that. What else?”

“Fruit!”

Javier gasps and bring his face to hover over Steve’s again. “Fruit? Did you hear that Steve? Mm and I think it’s your favorite kind too. Who wouldn’t want to wake up right this second and drink coffee and eat tangerines?” He kisses Steve softly, earning him only a hum in response, and quietly says, “I couldn’t get her to say tangerine.”

“You’ve made your point,” he grumbles. 

“Then get up. Tell him Livie.”

“Up daddy, up!” she shouts. Javier chuckles and runs his hand over Steve’s forehead. He kisses him again, sweetly, and with the persuasive allure of his tongue. Steve groans beneath him as he moves his hands back up Javier’s back to rest on the nape of his neck, his fingers drawing circles into his smooth skin. He hums into the kiss repeatedly and feels a deep sigh build in his chest when Javier’s lips slow to only a soft peck. He bites gently on his bottom lip as he pulls off him. 

“Are you awake now?” he asks. 

Steve groans but opens his eyes, tilting his chin up to brush their lips together again. “You torture me,” he grumbles. 

Javier laughs and sits up on Steve’s thighs. “You are so grumpy. Livie look how grumpy daddy looks. You should start calling him a grouch.”

Olivia jumps quickly from her spot on the bed to lay herself over Steve’s chest. “Grumpy daddy,” she giggles kicking her legs in the air. Steve sighs with an annoyed glare aimed specifically at Javier.

“Eres el peor marido (You’re the worst husband). Don’t teach her to call me names.”

Javier just smiles at him as he climbs from the bed and grabs the bowl of tangerine slices form the nightstand. He hands them to Steve, leaning over him, and says, “Beso.” Steve reaches his free hand up and into Javier’s hair, pulling his face further down to kiss him tenderly. “If you aren’t down to breakfast dressed in five minutes I’ll have to come do it myself, and I won’t be nice about it. Entiendes querido?” 

Steve nods with Javier’s face still hovering above his. “And what if I want you to?”

A sly smirk spreads over Javier’s lips, and he kisses him once more. “Por favor, sólo vístete. Puedo amarte bien más tarde (Please, just get dressed. I can love you properly later).” 

Olivia sits in Steve’s lap as they listen to the quiet hum of the truck’s radio. It’s staticky and doesn’t work half the time, but Olivia makes noises along with the singing voices anyway. They’re driving toward the barn to start their day’s work. Javier had insisted they take Olivia with them so he could “show her the ropes” and even went so far as to pack her snacks and little juice boxes as Steve had ate his breakfast. Their work usually lasted well into the afternoon and was more thorough than what they’d been doing since Olivia’s arrival. They did what they needed to on the property and made sure the animals were well cared for, but Olivia was the most important thing for these two weeks. Slacking off on tasks that weren’t immediate no longer mattered as much. 

Olivia keeps buzzing in Steve’s lap as she stares out the window. Occasionally she’ll moo, making Javier chuckle, and Steve tells him that she’d fallen in love with the cows the first time he took her out to see them. “Wait till you see the chickens Livie. She’ll go crazy if we just let her loose in the pen.”

Steve groans. “Then she’ll go around clucking for the rest of the day and try pecking at people’s hands. The chickens are a bad influence.”

Javier scoffs at him as they pull up next to the barn. “Don’t speak down on my chickens like that. If anything, you’re the bad influence teaching her how to be a stubborn grump in the morning. I swear, it’s like you want me to annoy the shit out of you each morning otherwise it’s not a good day.” 

Steve hops out of the truck with Olivia in his arms and a teasing look on his face. “Oh shut up. You love it when I’m grumpy in the morning. It gives you countless reason to shower me with affection until I decide I want to get up, and you’re always gentle about it.”

“Eso es porque te amo (That’s because I love you).”

Javier goes inside the barn alone while Steve takes Olivia around the perimeter of the outdoor fence to watch the cows graze. He makes quick work of pumping fresh water into their troughs and restocking the tin buckets of hay roped around a few of the wooden posts. He grumbles to himself, contemplating whether or not to shovel the cow shit from the barn’s floor or put it off until tomorrow. He decides it shouldn’t wait another day and sets about doing that as well, crinkling his nose at the smell he should be used to by now. He catches sight of the whiskey bottle Steve had set on the work bench those few nights ago as he puts the shovel away and takes the gloves from his hands. His fingers itch to reach out and grab the bottle, a sudden yearning for the burn of the alcohol down his throat swirls dangerously through his veins. He wants to open it, promising himself to only take a swig, but remembers the disappointment and fear on Steve’s face when he found him drinking on the patio chair. He squeezes his hands into tight fists with a deep breath. The urge is still there, powerful and incessant, but Javier knows it’ll never go away. He has to be stronger than that. He never wants to see that look in Steve’s eyes ever again. 

He shakes all thoughts of whiskey from his head and makes his way back outside to fill up those troughs with fresh supplies. Steve stands just outside the wooden gate of the outdoor pen with his hands on Olivia’s hips who’s sitting atop the post in front of him. Her hands are on Lucía’s muzzle above her, and she’s giggling happily. Steve’s smile is almost brighter than the sun. Javier watches them through the corner of his eye as he pumps water into his bucket and slowly fills their bin. The two bales set out in the pasture are enough to hold them over for a few more days, so he doesn’t worry about their food. Instead, he digs through the cooler of their snacks sat in the bed of the truck and pulls out a large zip-lock bag of sliced apples. He whistles loud and sharp as he walks up behind Steve, smiling when both of them jump at the noise, and leans forward on the fence. 

“What was that for?” Steve asks him. Javier hands him an apple slice and points when the rest of the cattle start slowly moving toward them. Olivia whines at Javier until he also gives her an apple slice. He reaches above her to pat the top of Lucía’s head and feeds her a piece of the apple. The other cows almost pick up their pace when they see the treats that are being given out.

“You want to feed them Livie? I promise they’re gentle, but you might get cow tongue all over your hand.” 

Steve makes a face at that, listening as Olivia shouts, “Yes! Moo cows! Gimme.” She makes grabby hands at Javier again until her fingers close around another apple slice. The cows gather all around Lucía with their noses sniffing in all different directions to see what she has. Steve holds onto her hips tighter and feels Javier sidle up next to him, bumping their shoulders. 

“Just like this,” he says. He holds out another slice, this time to Alberta, and smiles when she licks over his fingers to take it. Olivia watches him and waits until he nods at her before reaching her own hand out toward the waiting animals. She giggles when it’s taken from her and reaches for more apples when the bag is handed to her. The cows are gentle around her, not once struggling against the other to reach the apples first because they know they’ll all get fed. They always do. 

Javier snakes his arm around Steve’s waist as they watch Olivia disperse the slices among furry faces. He reaches up to rub the side of Susie’s face and pats her neck with a smile. His grip tightens on Steve’s hip, pulling him closer, and he lays his head on top of his shoulder. Steve turns to bury a kiss in his hair before also resting his head against Javier’s. “I don’t feel like cooking tonight,” he says to Steve. 

“Well, you’re not the only one in the house cariño. No one said it was your sole responsibility to cook for everyone every day.”

“I like to cook for you,” he says quietly, “you always tell me how good it is. Estoy perdido cuando lo dices (I am lost when you say it).”

Steve hums. “Por qué?”

“Your affection makes me warm. I grow dizzy with it. Déjame besarte dulcemente (Let me kiss you sweetly).” Steve pulls his head away from its resting spot, letting Javier cup his cheek softy, and sighs when his lips meet his. They’re soft and oh so tender, laced with a thousand words that all end in “I love you”. The affection Javier had mentioned seeps comfort into Steve’s bones like raw honey slowly from the edge of a dipper. He feels his head swim and his limbs grow fuzzy, tainted with everything Javier is willing to give him. Javier pulls away from him only moments later to just rest his forehead against Steve’s. His eyes are shining with such adoration and unconditional love that Steve feels as if he might faint. “Kissing you is like waking every morning with the sun in my hands and a thousand armies of unabashed soldiers fighting for happiness in my heart. Being with you is like growing old with nothing but smiles on our faces in the warmth of a forever setting sun and sharing tales of what used to be. Loving you is like – it’s like standing on the edge of the world with no fears of what’s below me and knowing that if I fell it’d always be into your arms.” Steve opens his mouth to say something, but no words come out. He doesn’t know what to say, nothing he could say would ever compare to that, and he just blinks in response. Javier smiles shyly and kisses the stupid look off his face. “We should order pizza tonight.” 

Steve’s lip quirks up in slight amusement, feeling Javier’s thumb rub gently at the nape of his neck. “It’s not that you don’t feel like cooking. You just want to show Olivia that you can eat an entire pizza all by yourself.” 

“Shut up and focus on Olivia before she falls off the post. You’re lucky the cattle we have are nice otherwise you’d have to worry about her getting her fingers ground up in their teeth too.” His arm finds it’s way around Steve’s waist again where he grasps at his hipbone lightly. Javier had barely left Steve alone these past few days, always touching him at every opportunity or just smiling at him like he was the only light in his universe. Javier was generally a touchy guy and never wasted a perfect moment to plant a kiss anywhere on Steve’s body, but he’d grown more clingy since his episode on the river bank. That was almost three days ago now. 

“Are you doing better Javi? We haven’t talked about what happened anymore than what was already said. I just want to make sure everything is okay.” He watches Javier cast his eyes down for only a moment before looking out over the pasture. He lets out a sigh and squeezes the hand at Steve’s hip. 

“I think you need to take that bottle of whiskey out of the barn and hide them from me again.”

He feels Steve’s disappointment and worry in the air before he even opens his mouth. “Javi-“

“I didn’t touch it,” he reassures him. He closes his eyes tightly to make the sudden yearning of downing an entire bottle of the poison go away. “I didn’t touch it. I only looked, but God Steve I really wanted to. It ached how bad I felt the urge to drink it. It stung through my veins and hollowed my bones. I’m afraid if you don’t hide the bottles again, I may just break.”

“Gone!” Olivia suddenly shouts with an angry wave of the empty zip-lock bag. The spell of their serious moment immediately breaks, and Javier takes the bag from her to go throw it away in the barn. Steve picks her up from her spot on the post with a small frown on his face. He knew Javier wouldn’t bring it up again, so he sets Olivia down and walks toward the barn just as Javier reappears with his black cowboy hat atop his head. 

“Javi,” he says and pulls him into a strong hug. He wraps his arms around his shoulders with a hand at the nape of his neck pulling his face into his collarbone. Javier doesn’t say anything or react right away, but eventually his hands come up to hug Steve back closely with fingers threading through his soft hair. He closes his eyes again and breathes in the smell of comfort calming him. “What made you fight it? The urge.”

“You,” he replies simply. 

Olivia runs wild among the chickens inside the coop, laughing when they flap away from her and bawk incessantly. Steve sits on a small stool just inside the coop’s wire door with a small smile on his face as he silently laughs at Javier’s attempts to chase her down. He keeps reminding her to play nice with the chickens and even picks one up so she can pet it. Steve slips through the door to fetch a bag of seed from the storage shelves and comes back to Javier sitting on his stool with Olivia in his lap. She’s holding a chicken set atop her legs with Javier’s steady hands and brushing its feathers softly. “This one is Brandy,” he says to her, “she’s the softest out of them all and just the biggest sweetheart. Isn’t she so gentle Livie?” 

Olivia giggles softly and lays the back of her head against Javier’s chest. She hugs Brandy gently with a long sigh. “Bandy and Jabier.” 

Javier feels a growing warmth in his chest at the way Olivia says his name and lightly tickles her side. “You’re such a goof.” He looks up to see Steve standing on the other side of the coop with the softest look he’s ever seen on the man. He feels a growing heat in his face as Steve smiles wider at him and turns back to Olivia. “Look what daddy brought. You want to feed the chickens?” She claps her hands excitedly and wriggles in Javier’s lap until he sets Brandy and then her down. Steve comes back into the pen with the sack of feed and lowers it until Olivia can reach. Javier takes a handful and says, “Watch.” He sprinkles it on the ground near a group of chickens who immediately begin to peck at the meal. “Go on,” he says pointing at her. 

She throws her handful on the ground and runs when all the chickens flock toward her. She laughs and does it again, always running when they get too excited. She keeps it up until Steve tells her that’s enough food for today. He starts tying up the bag and opens the door only for Olivia to tear past him and go running across the grass. Javier chases after her, losing his hat in the process, and quickly sweeps her off her feet in a matter of seconds. She lets out a loud squeal and yells, “Jabier! Jabier no!” He tosses her into the air before collapsing onto the ground with her in his arms and both their laughter ringing through the wind. 

Steve catches up to them after having put the feed away and making sure the coop was all locked up. Javier was on his back with his arms stretched away from his body and a sheen of sweat covering his forehead and exposed neck. Olivia was sat on his stomach with a red face and panting dramatically. “You have to go easy on him Livia. He’s an old man.”

Javier grunts with a glare aimed at Steve. “I am not an old man. Grandpa is. Now give me my hat back.” Steve ignores him, instead setting the hat on his own head. 

“Where grandpa?” Olivia asks. 

Javier ruffles her air and sits up so she’s in his lap. “Don’t you worry about him. He’s watching boring shows right now instead of helping out. You’ll see him later.” 

Steve looks from Olivia to Javier. “Grandpa?”

Javier sighs. “You know how Papá is. I took her downstairs this morning and he started teaching her to call him that. He has every right to.”

Steve shakes his head. “No, no that’s not what I meant. She just hadn’t called him that before, and I know I hadn’t told her about it. Your face is all sweaty.”

“Yeah Steve. It’s hot out.” Steve smiles at him, pulling a handkerchief from his back pocket, and squats down to wipe it over Javier’s face. His eyes flutter closed at the feel of the cloth and Steve’s thumb coming to wipe a bead of sweat from his temple. Soft lips find his in a light kiss, and he audibly hums. “Thank you,” he almost whispers. 

Steve wipes the hair stuck to Javier’s forehead back as he returns the cowboy hat to his head, purposefully putting it on crooked. He kisses him again and stands. “Let’s go check on your posts now. Maybe the water has gone down.” 

The three of them stand in front of the truck looking over the river and at the three posts still barely stuck under the water. Javier sighs loudly and crosses his arms. “Guess not.”

Steve nudges his shoulder with a superior look. “Just think cariño. If you were just a little more stubborn, you’d still be sitting out here waiting with no one to wipe the sweat from your face. Who’s being grumpy now?” 

Javier turns to look at Steve’s smug face with another glare from under the brim off his hat. “Livie tell your daddy that he’s a big dumb head and I hate him.”

Olivia slaps the side of Steve’s leg and yells, “Daddy big dumb head! Jabier no like!”

“Hey! Don’t listen to him. What the hell have you been teaching her Javi?” he asks exasperatedly. Javier just bursts out laughing and reaches a hand down for Olivia to give him a high five. She slaps his hand as hard as she can with her own giggle and sticks her tongue out at Steve. “Unbelievable,” he mutters, “it hasn’t even been a week and you’ve managed to turn her against me.” 

“I haven’t been teaching her anything,” he says between laughs, “she’s just a very smart kid who knows what’s best. Like me.” 

Steve doesn’t take his eyes away from Javier’s but meets his look of amusement with a challenging one. “Livia, do you want daddy to get you some snacks from the truck?” 

She gasps and immediately reaches up for his hand. “Oh, yes! Daddy snacks! Now! Now!”

He smiles and quirks a brow at a frowning Javier. “And who is the best?” 

“Jabier!”

His face falls as Javier bursts into another fit of laughter with a hand over his chest. “What?” Steve asks bewildered.

Olivia giggles again still reaching for Steve’s hand. “You are such a piece of work Murphy, you know that? You just tried so hard to one-up me and it completely backfired on you.” He continues to laugh but feels his face soften at the pout Steve gives him. He looks defeated. “Hey, todavía creo que eres el mejor (I still think you’re the best). You know she doesn’t mean anything by it.” 

Steve manages a curt nod and finally lowers his hand into Olivia’s reach. “Let’s go get your snacks.” 

Javier sits in the grass with his legs crossed much like he had those few days ago. He drinks in the fresh warm air feeling the trails of sweat leading down his neck and back and pulls a slip of paper from his breast pocket. His words are half-written, remnants of his spare time before breakfast needed to be started, and follows that of which he wants to convey. He listens to Steve rummaging through the cooler in the bed of the truck and Olivia’s whining of what she wants to eat. He smiles at the sound before continuing his writing. 

He’s met with a tiny hand pulling on the brim of his hat only minutes later and turns to smile at Olivia. “Jabier,” she says. Her arm reaches out to show him the small bag of grapes she has. He looks briefly behind her when he doesn’t immediately see Steve and lets out a quiet sigh. 

“I don’t want any. Come sit.” He moves the arm he had resting over his thigh as she climbs into his lap, resting her head against his chest as she eats her grapes. She points to the paper he has in his hand and makes a noise. “I’m writing something for daddy,” he says quietly, “I think we upset him with our little stunt earlier.” He turns his head again to look at Steve sitting with his back against one of the truck’s tires with his arms crossed over his chest and a pitying look marring his features. His brows are furrowed and his eyes almost disappointed. “See look, he’s sulking over there. We have to cheer him up.” She nods her head as Javier continues to write. 

He reads his words over and over about a million times before he eventually feels satisfied enough. He folds the slip back up and hands it to Olivia. “Go give this to daddy and tell him you love him.” 

She climbs out of his lap and says, “Otay.” She’s gone from his sight within seconds, so Javier resumes his careful watch over the river and closes his eyes as the sweet breeze catches his warm skin. 

Steve looks up as Olivia runs over and gives her a small smile. “Hey chica. What do you have there?” 

She holds out the slip of paper for Steve. “I love you daddy.” 

He takes the paper from her with a glance at Javier’s back. “I love you too Liv.” She giggles and almost shies away from him before running back to Javier and knocking the hat off his head. He watches them fool around for a few seconds before turning to the paper in his hand. He can already feel the swells of affection rolling through him as he unfolds it. Something about Javier and the way he writes about him just fills him with too much pride. He can’t even remember the time before he fell in love with the man. He reads:

A watchman lone upon his tower  
he waits and waits and waits  
but his light has run out  
no boats will come.

A watchman sad upon his tower  
he hopes and hopes and hopes  
but his time has grown thin  
no visitors will come.

A watchman drowning upon his tower  
he swims and swims and swims  
but his arms have broken in  
no buoys will come.

A watchman dying upon his tower  
he breathes and breathes and breathes  
but his lungs have shriveled cold  
no heroes will come.

Steve reads through the poem a few times more, feeling cold inside his chest instead of the usual warmth. He glances again at Javier, frowning at his back, and rises to his feet. Olivia’s sitting in his lap again shoving grapes into her mouth and holding onto one of his fingers. Steve sits beside him so their shoulders and knees touch. His hand clutches onto the paper, but he reaches one out to rest on Javier’s thigh. “Are you alright?” he asks softly. 

Javier turns to look at him and removes the hat from his head. He places it on Steve and covers the hand on his thigh with his own. “Let me finish:

A watchman rising from upon his tower  
he gapes and gapes and gapes  
but his life has been set free  
someone will come.

A watchman loving upon his tower  
he smiles and smiles and smiles  
but his heart has been won  
at last  
his lover has come.”

Steve’s lips quirk followed by a slight tremble in his fingers that Javier quickly squeezes away. He turns toward Javier fully, wrapping an arm around his shoulders, and hugs him tightly. He presses his nose into the skin just behind Javier’s jaw and rubs a hand over his back. “I will always come to save you,” he says reassuringly. 

Javier turns his head slightly to kiss Steve’s cheek and pulls him further into his body as much as one arm can muster, threading his fingers through the tufts of hair at the base of his head. “I love you.”

“I know you do Javi-“

“No,” he says firmly. His arm squeezes him tighter and his fingers clench around the soft strands in his hold. “I love you.” Steve brings a hand from Javier’s back to cup his face, dragging the tip of his nose over his jaw and up his mouth until their lips meet. Steve kisses him supple and sweet, sucking gently on his upper lip and barely catching his tongue in his mouth. Javier tastes the slight saltiness of sweat on Steve’s lips and the sweetness of the apple slices he’d eaten earlier. His eyes are still closed in pure bliss when Steve pulls away. 

“I love you too,” he says with his breath ghosting shivers across Javier’s still parted lips. He lays his head back against his shoulder and threads their fingers together. He doesn’t care that both their palms are warm and damp with sweat, he just wants to touch Javier. Olivia lays herself across Javier’s lap with her head resting on Steve’s thigh as she plays with the hand she’s still holding on to. Javier smiles down at her. 

“Have you spoken with Connie yet?” he asks. He gets his answer through the way Steve squeezes his hand before a reply even comes out of his mouth. “¿Y cuándo lo harás? (And when will you?)”

“I can’t just tell her over the phone Javi, and I don’t want to drag her down here for another day just to tell her we’re married. She’s supposed to be on vacation, remember? I think I’m just going to have to do it when she gets here for Christmas. I’ll meet her outside and just sit down with her. If she feels uncomfortable after that and doesn’t want to stay for dinner, then so be it.”

“I’m sure it’ll all be fine. I could go with you if you’d like?” 

Steve shakes his head but smiles at him. “I just need to talk to her like I used to. Get it all out and call it done. Just like with Chucho. I’ll be fine.”

“Grandpa,” Olivia whines upon hearing his name. 

Javier tickles his fingers over her stomach. “Almost. We need to tend the garden first, but it’ll only take a few minutes. I pinky swear.” He holds his pinky out toward her and laughs when she just swats it away. “We should probably hurry before she turns just as grumpy as you.”

“Quit making fun of me just because I don’t like to get up in the morning.”

Javier stands with Olivia tucked under his arm, leaning down toward Steve to kiss the pout right off his face. “Quit being a little baby then and I won’t.” It isn’t beneath him to glare at Javier’s back as he walks away.

Tending the garden truly meant Javier did all the work while Steve simply showed Olivia the flowers. He heard him make very clear to her that if she were to touch or ruin even a petal Javier would be very upset. He found that endearing, knowing Steve knew how much he cared about his flowers and how loath he was to anything that would harm them. Steve liked to joke that Javier cared more about his garden than he did himself which on some days was certainly true. What he hadn’t expected was to see Olivia sticking her hands in the dirt and littering herself with it. She seemed to be more interested in becoming dirty than looking at the flowers Steve showed her. He supposed they’d all need a shower after this anyway, so it didn’t much matter to him. What mattered was the warm smile Steve kept sending him when he stopped to watch the two fool around or the way his skin tingled every time they laughed together. Javier would never tire of being in the presence of Steve.

“Please stop splashing you’re getting me all wet,” Javier complains to Olivia. Steve was the one who let her dig around in the dirt, yet Javier is the one giving her a bath in one of the empty guest rooms at the moment. His entire shirt is soaked in soapy water from her constant splashing, irritation clear on his face, but nothing he says will make her stop. Steve had decided to shower while Javier endured this task alone, and he was starting to regret ever allowing that to happen. “If you don’t quit it, I’m going to make you sleep outside tonight and hope all the bugs eat you up.”

“No!” she cries, “Jabier!” 

He raises a brow at her. “Then you better stop because I will not hesitate. Now come on, lift your arms.” She finally listens to him, raising her arms and not splashing anymore, and he continues to wipe her down with a soapy cloth. Steve decides to walk in at that moment with a towel wrapped around his waist making Olivia suddenly rowdy again. 

“Daddy!” she says splashing her hands in the tub. Javier sits back on his heels with a look of defeat, wiping the new water droplets from his face. 

“Hey princess. What’s wrong with you grumpy?” he asks nudging Javier with his knee. Javier turns to look up at him with wet eyelashes. “Why are you so wet?” He laughs at Javier’s drenched state and wipes a patch of water from his cheek. 

“I hate giving baths,” he mumbles. 

Steve puts his hands on his hips and gives Olivia a stern look. “Are you giving poor Jabier a bad time?”

She shakes her head with a giggle. “No, no daddy I good girl!”

He smiles. “’Course you are. I think Jabier is just being a little whiney right now, hm?”

“You don’t shut your mouth I’ll make you sleep outside too and make sure the bugs get the both of you.”

Olivia splashes again, getting the side of Javier’s face wet, and whines, “Jabier don’t like me no more.” 

“Yes I do Livie,” he says. Steve wipes the water from his face with the edge of his towel, earning him a slight smirk. He grabs onto Steve’s hips and pulls him close to press a kiss just below his belly button. “But I like this plenty more.” He kisses his slightly damp skin again, feeling the coarseness of the trail of little blonde hairs disappearing under the towel against his nose, and slides one hand under the towel to rub softly up the inside of Steve’s thigh. He watches Steve’s eyes flutter and has half a mind to follow his hand’s path with his mouth. Sudden hands pulling roughly at his hair inhibits him from continuing however, and he looks back up at him apologetically. 

“Not in front of her,” Steve says firmly. Olivia splashes again to make her presence acknowledged, and Javier closes his eyes to prevent the sting of soap on his face. “Go take a shower cariño. I’ll finish up.” Steve kneels next to him and doesn’t pay him any mind as he picks up where Javier left off. He kisses his ear before standing from the wet floor and finding his own bathroom to finally relax in. 

Steve’s sitting on the edge of the bed with his towel still around his waist when Javier emerges from the bathroom completely naked with tiny beads of water dripping from his hair. “Where’s Livie?” he asks him while digging through their dresser. 

“Chucho caught her while we were coming out of the bathroom. Told me I shouldn’t be walking around with just a towel on and took her outside to blow bubbles. I didn’t even know he was up here. I thought he was still watching his soap operas,” he chuckles. 

Javier continues to dig around for something to wear and asks, “What are you doing in here then?”

“Maybe I just wanted to see you come out of the bathroom naked. Is that so bad?”

He turns to look at Steve from over his shoulder with a cocky grin. “You see me naked every day. That’s not it.”

Steve shrugs at him with a quirk of his lips. “I have something I wanted to give you. I was going to wait till Christmas, but I want you to have it now.” Javier just raises a brow and fully turns to face Steve, the opened dresser door now forgotten. “Will you sit?”

“Do you want me to get dressed first?”

“No.” Javier nods with an almost giddy smile as he sits on the edge of the bed and folds his hands in his lap. Steve gets up and starts fishing around in the closet, bringing out a small envelope. He hands it to Javier slowly with a slight blush. “I hope you like it.” 

Javier opens the top of the envelope and peers inside, shooting an odd look back up at Steve who blushes even more. It’s just a polaroid, nothing inherently special about it. He takes it out and immediately drops the envelope at his feet upon seeing the picture. A choked whimper trembles past his lips as he brings a hand to cover his mouth, his shocked eyes flicking up to briefly meet Steve’s slightly embarrassed ones. “Oh cariño,” he whines against his fingers. It’s a picture of Steve, more specifically of his cock, and fuck if it isn’t everything that turns Javier on. His thighs are spread wide in the picture that looks to be taken from straight above. He’s unbelievably hard, the tip red and leaking profusely. He’s curved up toward his stomach with his balls just barely visible, and the curls of his thick hair almost shining in the light of the photo. He can see the flush of his skin all down his thighs and up what’s visible of his abdomen. Javier had never wanted something in his mouth this bad in his life. “I love it,” he whispers with a slight strain in his throat. 

“I thought you could keep that one in the truck too.”

Javier’s head snaps up from the polaroid with a blush of his own. “You weren’t supposed to see that,” he says sheepishly. 

Steve smiles at him and runs a hand through his hair. “I figured you’d appreciate this one more.”

Javier sets the polaroid on the nightstand, shaking his head, and buries his face in Steve’s stomach. His hands come up to grip his ass over the towel as he presses a kiss to his soft skin. “No,” he says tilting his head up only slightly to look into his eyes. “Don’t say that. This,” his hand trails lightly over the front of the towel brushing only barely over Steve’s dick, “is beautiful in whatever state it’s in. I don’t take it for granted.” He mouths over the material of the towel with Steve’s fingers threading into his hair and is pulled up into a hungry kiss. 

Steve’s tongue dives almost immediately between Javier’s lips, licking every inch of his mouth and over his top lip, making them both hum in pleasure. Javier nibbles at Steve’s bottom lip enough to make him groan but not enough to make it hurt. His hands come down to unwrap the towel around Steve’s waits, listening to it fall to the floor, and runs his hands over his bare ass with kneading strokes of his fingers. He then slides them down his thighs and carefully up inch by inch like he had in the bathroom, feeling Steve make a noise against his lips when the back of his hand brushes against the side of his dick. Javier takes him in hand, swallowing the whimper it releases, and jacks him at a torturously slow pace. Steve’s hold tightens in his hair at the rough feeling of the calloused hand on his rising dick but starts to move his hips anyway. 

“Switch places with me,” Javier murmurs against his lips. He stands from the bed with a gentle hand rubbing at Steve’s hip and the other leaving its place to cup his face. Steve blindly sits on the bed, his hold moving from the back of Javier’s head to brush over his ears and draw circles just below his temples, and leans slightly back at the soft pressure pushed against him. Their kisses are heavy, noses bumping roughly together, and nostrils barely flaring at their shared breaths. Javier lets out a pleased sigh when a finger scratches behind his ear, only pulling away to suck various marks across Steve’s jaw and trap his earlobe between his teeth. 

“Javi,” Steve whines breathlessly. 

Javier’s hand comes up to brush Steve’s hair back, resting it at the top of his neck, and returns to kissing his lips softly now but with no less urgency. “Shh,” he speaks quietly against him, his fingers massaging the bottom of his scalp, “you’re okay cariño. Déjame cuidarte esta vez. Te haré sentir bien (Let me take care of you this time. I’ll make you feel good).” 

Steve nods against him, feeling hands slowly travel down to reach his hips, and bites his lip when Javier’s mouth makes its own trail over his chest licking and kissing. He lowers himself between Steve’s legs until his knees touch the floor, mouthing at the soft skin of Steve’s belly and nosing into the collection of coarse hairs grouped at his lower abdomen. His tongue licks delicately over the skin joining his upper thigh and hip, his teeth biting soft marks, and his lips trailing lower to the inside of his thigh. Steve feels the tickle of Javier’s mustache constantly rubbing against his skin as his hot mouth continues further up his thigh and knows that he’ll have a prickly rash there when this is all over. The thought immediately leaves his mind when Javier’s nose bumps against his balls and then he’s sucking one into his mouth, running his tongue all around the skin with little sighs leaving his nose. He kisses the base of Steve’s dick, feeling the thighs under his hands quiver and the fingers drawn in his hair tighten. His eyes meet Steve’s briefly, enough for him to see the longing and the slight flush spreading through his cheeks. “You can pull,” he says setting his hands over the ones in his hair, “no seas tímido conmigo. Sabes que me gusta (Don’t be shy with me. You know I like it).” 

Steve watches with his lips parted and his chest breathing deeply as Javier flattens his tongue and runs it up the length of his dick. He kisses the tip gently, flicking his eyes up to lock onto Steve’s, and licks over the head feeling the taste of pre-cum soak into his tongue. A breathy gasp escapes Steve’s lips as Javier sucks the tip just barely into his mouth, lips tightening and tongue swirling, and feels his hands clench unintentionally. A noise rumbles in his throat when Javier swallows him deeper until his nose touches his patch of golden hairs and hums delightedly. He slowly starts working his mouth, bobbing up and down at a languid pace and working his tongue over every inch of skin that he can. His hand comes up to work the bottom of his dick as he focuses on his head again, sucking hard and collecting more pre-cum on his tongue. The grip in his hair neither slackens nor stops, and Javier finds himself moaning at the sharp sting it produces on his scalp. 

“Oh Jav,” he whimpers. His breath is short and noises whining, the heat low in his belly spreading further and further until it curls his toes. “You’re such a good boy for me. Me tomas tan bien.” Javier moans around him again, closing his eyes briefly and hollowing his cheeks as he picks up his pace. He fits a hand under one of Steve’s thighs and pulls it forward until its resting over his shoulder so he’s slightly off the bed. Fingers blindly search out Steve’s mouth, sinking into its wet warmth once it’s found. He sucks on Javier’s fingers rapidly to coat them in saliva and pops off them when he’s finished. Javier pulls Steve’s hips slightly forward before letting go as an encouragement to start moving. 

He starts to thrust his hips slowly, fucking himself easily into the heat of Javier’s mouth, and tugs him further down by his hair. Wet fingers trails over his ass until one presses urgently against his hole. He whines lowly when the finger breaches his rim and immediately starts matching the pace of his rapidly speeding hips. Steve brings a hand from Javier’s hair to wipe his thumb messily at the tears forming in his eyes with a soft caress to his cheek. His head tips back in another breathy moan at the feel of another finger curling past his rim. Javier’s breath is almost gone from his lungs, the inhales from his nose not being nearly enough, and he hums around Steve as the familiar tensing of muscles twitches beneath his fingertips. “Oh, Javi me estás destruyendo mi amor.”

Steve’s fingers thread back through his hair in a clenching grip, his thrusts becoming jerkier, and Javier continues working his fingers in his tight ass. Only when Javier curls his fingers in just the right spot do they brush against his prostate making Steve’s hips stutter and his thighs tighten around Javier’s face, hot come erupting over his tongue and down his throat as Steve’s cries fill the room. He sucks him through it with as much as his tired muscles can bear, milking him for all he’s worth as his fingers still wiggle against his prostate, and thumbs soothingly at his hip bone. Steve exhales deep and long as his body slumps against Javier. He kisses at his forehead and brings his leg off of Javier’s shoulder to sink onto the bed, rubbing his hands over the patches of hair he pulled too harshly at and leans forward against him. 

Javier pops off Steve with a deep hum and removes his fingers from his pulsing hole. “Javi,” he breathes, “mm Jav te amo tanto. Come here baby.” Javier smiles lazily up at him with tears down his face and red lips. He stands from his knees cupping Steve’s face and kisses him happily, pushing forward until the both of them fall back onto the bed. They kiss languidly with only small swipes of their tongues and their faces in each other’s hands. Their bodies are warm against the other, sated, and Steve realizes he doesn’t feel Javier’s own erection poking at his hip like he should. He pulls away from him with a slight smirk and raised brow. “Did you finish already? I didn’t even do anything to you.” 

Javier shrugs as a hint of embarrassment flushes through his cheeks. “I’ll have to wipe up the floor. Between those little noises you make and the way you pull my hair I think I can manage. And your dick was in my mouth. The way you taste and that grind you do with your hips. Fuck Steve me vuelves loco (you drive me crazy).” 

Steve smiles at him and wipes his thumbs over the remnants of tears on Javier’s cheeks. “It’s my job to drive you crazy. Now kiss me again. I like the taste I left on your tongue.” Javier meets his lips again, driving his tongue into Steve’s mouth and reveling in the hum that sounds against him. Steve’s hands rub delicately at the back of Javier’s neck before soothing down his back and running over his butt. Javier fits his arms around Steve’s back and sighs deeply as he presses his face into his neck, breathing in his clean and slightly sweaty scent. “Tell me something sweet,” he says close to his ear. 

“Hm, you and the way your skin tastes upon my lips,” he says pressing a kiss onto his neck. 

“You know what I mean.” 

Javier’s silent for a while deep in thought as Steve continues rubbing over his back. He closes his eyes in the comfort of Steve’s hold and eventually speaks.

“I am plunged oh so deep  
in the depths of what is our love  
softly and still  
leave me deaf and strike me blind  
your beauty ties my heart  
though not our love could unbind.”

Steve rolls him over so he’s hovering over his body. He runs a hand through his hair and brushes his cheek, softly kissing his forehead before barely touching their lips. “You amaze me,” he almost whispers. Javier smiles up at him with a hand on his waist. “You should probably clean your cum off the floor before it gets all dried up. I’m going to go order the pizza.” Javier silently watches Steve get dressed from his spot on the bed feeling warm despite his exposed body. Though not their love could unbind. 

It’s barely dawn, the sun just peaking from the horizon and through their little sliver of open window when Javier wakes from the night’s sleep. He can just make out the soft tufts of Steve’s hair brushing along his forehead and the smell of his shampoo flitting into his nose. He opens his eyes more in the soft dimness of the room to find his face buried in the back of Steve’s neck. His arms are wrapped tightly around the man’s waist and his legs curled just fittingly under his butt. He groans quietly in the back of his throat, wishing to sleep for at least another thirty minutes, and closes his eyes. 

He vaguely senses the feel of tiny hands pushing at his bare back and opens his eyes again. He could’ve sworn Olivia had fallen asleep curled into Steve’s chest. He presses a long kiss to the nape of Steve’s neck before rolling over on his side. Olivia meets him with sleepy eyes and now pushes her tiny hands against his chest. “Hey chica,” he says quietly, the gravel of his morning voice seeping heavily into his words. She reaches her arms around Javier in a hug, laying her head against him. He covers the back of her head and her butt with his hands and rolls onto his back. She tightens her grip on him as he stares at the ceiling until his eyes begin to drift closed again. 

He startles when those same hands hit his chest. Olivia is now sitting on his stomach with her hands spread over him, patting him softly now. “Daddy,” she says. 

Javier groans and turns to look at Steve. He’s still in the same position he left him in and no amount of anything could wake that man up. “Daddy’s sleeping,” he says tiredly, “you should be too. It’s just on the edge of being up too early, and I’m tired.”

She smacks his chest again. “Daddy,” she demands. 

He seizes her hands from hitting him again and gives a stern look. “Quit smacking me. Your daddy is sleeping. I won’t say it again.” 

She pouts at him until he releases her hands. She crawls further up his body to sit on his chest, her hand coming up to softly caress his cheek. He opens his mouth to say something, but no words make it past his lips. Her other hand comes up to brush over his mustache, much like it had the first day, and she smiles. “Daddy.”

Javier’s brows furrow, his heart rate picking up profusely. “What?” he chokes. 

“Daddy.” 

He quickly sits up, moving her to his lap, and stares down with her hand still softly on his cheek. “Me?” he asks pointing to himself. 

“Daddy,” she giggles. 

He swallows a large lump in his throat and points to Steve. “What’s his name?”

“Stebe.”

“And who is he?”

“Daddy.”

“What’s my name?” he asks pointing to himself again.

“Jabier.”

“And-and who am I?” he asks shakily. 

“Daddy.” 

Javier sobs loudly, nodding his head, and feels something expand in his chest. “That’s right Livie. I’m your daddy.” He scoops her up in his arms and pulls her tightly against his chest in a warm embrace. Tears flow freely down his face as Olivia tucks her face into his sternum and wraps her tiny arms around his neck. His sobs wrack through his entire body, shaking him, and his fingers tremble ridiculously. An overwhelming sense of belonging and love filters through every inch of his being, tainting his soul and enlightening his spirits. He feels as if he cannot breathe with how much his chest has swelled and can barely see through the blurry haze of tears that just won’t stop falling. 

The bed dips beside him, but he pays it no mind, not even looking up when a hand touches his hip. “Hey, what’s going on?” Steve asks groggily, “the sun hasn’t even risen all the way yet. Why are we up?” 

Olivia brings her head up from Javier’s chest to look at him. “Daddy crying,” she says. 

Steve’s brows furrow and it’s achingly clear that he’s not fully aware of his surroundings yet. “What? I’m not…?”

Javier turns to face him as well, his eyes red and face blotchy. “Daddy crying,” he weeps. 

Steve squints at him for a long time. He’s not crying, he’s tired, so why – “Oh,” he says, his eyes suddenly going wide, “oh! Oh my god! Daddy crying!” Javier nods at him, feeling his lower lip tremble, and lets out another happy sob. “Oh Javi,” he whispers as he sits up in the bed and reaches for him, “come here cariño.” Javier leans his body to the side until he’s pulled against Steve’s chest, Olivia still in his arms, and closes his eyes when arms wrap tightly around him. He fits one arm behind Steve’s back and buries his face into his sternum where he continues to spill his tears. A hand pets comfortingly over his hair as the other one rubs his back. “It’s okay baby. Just get it all out.”

“Why daddy sad?” Olivia whines. 

Steve places a hand on her head and smiles. “Daddy’s not sad sweetie. He’s just really happy. So happy that he couldn’t handle it all at once. Don’t worry about him, you didn’t do anything wrong. He just needs hugs right now, okay?”

“Okay,” and she returns to hugging him tightly along with Steve’s strong arms. 

It was the truth. Javier was so overwhelmed with the blessing of pure happiness that it seeped through his cracks and broke over the surface. He felt like he belonged. 

He had a family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fuck me this poetry just *ugh* and i really wish i had nude polaroids of steve wtf
> 
> please javi not in front of olivia CONTAIN YOURSELF
> 
> i might have cried writing this

**Author's Note:**

> comments are very very welcome i'll read them for days


End file.
